


The Dark Side of Obi-Wan Kenobi Part 2

by Sulis57



Series: The Dark Side of Obi-Wan Kenobi [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Coruscant, Dark Obi-Wan Kenobi, F/M, Fear, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Force vergence, Gen, Heavy Angst, Holocron, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury Recovery, Jedi, Jedi Code, Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Temple, Lightsabers, Meditation, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mind Manipulation, Nightmares, Obitine, Poor Obi-Wan, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prophecy, Prophets, References to the Jedi Council, Sacrifice, Seduction to the Dark Side, Sith, Sith Obi-Wan, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Some Canon, Temptation, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force, Trauma, Visions, hunger, mental demons, the chosen one, wounded obi-wan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-05 05:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 38,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11571066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sulis57/pseuds/Sulis57
Summary: Our handsome Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi, senses unfathomable darkness rising inside him.Maul left Kenobi's life in shambles, breaking his faith in the Jedi Code, murdering his love, and leaving him for dead in a Sundari prison. Now, as Obi-Wan struggles to regain his footing, he's haunted by his past. Reliving torture, loss, and pain he begins to suspect something evil is manipulating his emotions, making it nearly impossible to resist the call to the Dark Side. As his faith in the Code crumbles, so does his ability to trust his own mind.“What’s happened to us?” Anakin whispered as though reading Obi-Wan’s mind. “Everything seems to be broken.”“I know,” Kenobi commiserated. “The world is coming apart at the seams.” He pulled back, placing his hands on Anakin’s shoulders, holding him at arms length. “But sometimes the world has to burn in order for something new to grow. Just try not to lose sight of who you are.”We go some weird, dark places here. Not as violent as Part 1 but definitely full of angst and emotional torment.





	1. Disturbance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where [_Part 1_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10591950/chapters/23414190) left off.
> 
> All right my friends, here we go. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. And a HUGE _thank you_ for your patience. I can't tell you how lovely it was to receive messages on AO3, Instagram, and Tumblr asking about the progress of Part 2. You're all wonderful!!
> 
> It takes a few chapters for us to really get rolling, but I hope you enjoy yourselves.
> 
> Feel free to hit me up over on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/most_things_kenobi/) and/or [Tumblr](https://mostthingskenobi.tumblr.com/). I share tons of Obi-Wan content. All are welcome!

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

Anakin was in his personal quarters at the Temple when a deep, rich, sickening darkness suddenly surged through the Force; it swirled around him like black oil before abruptly receding into the abyss.

Startled, he placed a hand on the wall to steady himself while he stretched out with his feelings. The disturbance had felt oddly personal, tugging at something in his core.

The realization hit him like a kick to the gut. “Obi-Wan…”

He ran from the room.

  


* * *

  


At first glance everything was as it should be; Obi-Wan’s room was quiet and empty, not even a medical droid in sight. Anakin warily slipped through the door, checking the corners and even under the bed – nefarious creatures like assassin droids could be very small.

Nothing. The room was clear. But something did not feel right. The energy in the medical ward felt… frightening.

Anakin went to Obi-Wan’s side.

His master was shaking violently, his breaths coming in shuddering gasps. His hands were clenched into fists, one clutching the sheets in a vise like grip, the other pressed to his chest. Skywalker paused abruptly; something about Obi-Wan’s right hand looked different. He leaned in closer, inspecting the bruised fingers, then he pried them open and laid them flat. Kenobi’s hand was healed, no longer twisted and disfigured.

Anakin’s brow pulled together as suspicion took hold of him. How was this possible? Only a few hours had passed since he had last seen his friend. Obi-Wan’s damaged ligaments and tendons could not possibly have healed in that time.

The door opened suddenly. Anakin turned quickly, reaching for the lightsaber on his belt.

Yoda stared up at him. “A disturbance in the Force there was.”

“I felt it too, Master,” Skywalker said, lowering his hand from his weapon.

“How is Master Kenobi?”

“I’m not sure.” Anakin stepped aside, allowing Yoda to climb into the chair next to Obi-Wan. He walked around Kenobi’s right side and stood across from the Grand Master. Obi-Wan was still hyperventilating, his whole body contracted with tension. Anakin placed a hand on his friend’s forehead. “He’s ice cold,” he said, surprised. He leaned forward and gently shook Kenobi’s shoulder. “Obi-Wan? Can you hear me?”

Kenobi showed no signs of recognition; his eyes never opened, his breathing never altered. He seemed lost in a nightmare from which neither Anakin nor Yoda could rouse him.

“Something evil has been here,” Yoda said, surveying Kenobi’s body. “The energy in this room, altered it is.”

Anakin noticed the wounds on Obi-Wan’s neck and face looked improved; they were no longer scabbed nor inflamed, but fading reddish-white small scars.

“Somebody has cured him. Look.” He turned Obi-Wan’s face toward Yoda. “The wounds are repairing themselves.”

“Hmmm…” the Grand Master hummed. “Strange this is. Send for Doctor Neema you should.”

Anakin pressed a button on the medical consul that summoned the doctor. As he turned back to the bed something unusual caught his eye. He lifted the bed sheet, revealing Kenobi’s tattered shirt and the bloody bandages that had been peeled away from his skin. Skywalker felt fear creep up his spine. “What is this?”

Yoda stepped onto the bed and carefully went around to look. His piercing eyes betrayed his dread.

“Would he have done this to himself?” Anakin asked, his voice unsteady.

The Grand Master’s ears flattened with concern. “Impossible to tell it is. A Jedi _can_ heal his own wounds, but Kenobi, not strong enough was he to do this. And these injuries,” Yoda waved a hand over the lacerations on Obi-Wan’s chest and neck, “even the healers could not repair.”

Doctor Neema pushed through the door followed by two medical droids. She bowed to the Jedi. “What has happened?”

Anakin and Yoda explained what they had discovered. Neema placed a listening device to Kenobi’s chest and quickly analyzed the results. “His lung is fully functional again, as though it were never punctured. I have never seen a patient with such severe wounds recover so quickly.” She looked at Yoda with wide disbelieving eyes. “This is impossible.”

“If he’s recovering, why is he showing such distress?” Anakin asked. “Why is he shaking like that?”

“I’m not certain. I’d like to run some tests, with your permission, Master Yoda. He appears to be in shock, but I’m reluctant to give him a soporific until I’m sure he hasn’t been poisoned or drugged.”

“Run the tests you must,” Yoda said.

Doctor Neema stepped out to gather her equipment while Anakin collected extra blankets from nearby rooms. He tucked them around Obi-Wan, pulling them up to his master’s chin and wrapping them around his freezing body. Then, sitting on the edge of the bed, Anakin placed a hand on Obi-Wan’s chest and closed his eyes. Yoda watched as Skywalker effortlessly slipped out of his conscious self and focused his energy into wrapping his Force signature around Kenobi. The Grand Master suppressed a disapproving pang that echoed in his heart, allowing the obvious signs of attachment to go unchecked.

Anakin concentrated on his friend, reaching out and tentatively looking for signs of injury. He suddenly froze as he touched something that filled his instincts with revulsion.

Obi-Wan’s Force signature felt _unnatural_.

The usual warmth and brightness seemed twisted, smashed, and reformed into something altogether unrecognizable.

Anakin’s eyes slowly opened as his own Force signature involuntarily recoiled from his master’s darkness. He turned to Yoda. “Something is terribly wrong.” As goose bumps spread up his arm, even all the way into his hair, he forced himself to keep his hand pressed to Obi-Wan’s chest. “He feels different.”

“Control your fear you must,” Yoda said, leaning forward against his gimer stick, his voice calm and encouraging. “Try again and tell me what you feel.”

Anakin centered himself, flexing his fingers and trying to shake the unease he felt as he reached out again. He closed his eyes and wrapped the Force around Obi-Wan. Anakin heard Yoda’s soothing tones as he slipped out of his conscious self once more.

The Grand Master hummed, using his own Force to gently support Skywalker. “Good,” he intoned. “Good. What do you feel?”

Skywalker’s senses were cautious; he was nervous about what he would find. “His Force has been altered somehow.”

Yoda sent a calming wave over the young man. “Carefully you must proceed. Think not of how Obi-Wan’s Force once was. Describe what it has become.”

The young man shivered from head to toe as he reached out to his friend. “It’s…”

He could not bring himself to say the words.

“Slow,” Yoda said softly. “Quiet your emotions.”

Anakin took a deep breath. “It’s raw and aching, like a bruise, bleeding from the edges.” A lump formed in his throat and he clenched his teeth as he swallowed. He forced himself to focus and continued. “In some spots it’s twisted, wound so tightly and strained that it’s tearing open…” He struggled to control his emotions as he realized Obi-Wan’s Force signature was a dark, tangled mess. “How is this possible, Master Yoda?”

He felt the Grand Master’s stable Force presence nudge against him. Keeping his eyes shut and his focus strong, Anakin found the will to press on.

“It’s sharp, somehow, like it has thorns… thorns growing from the inside out. They’re designed to prick him, to hurt him.” It was more horrible than he could have imagined, as though Obi-Wan’s own Force signature had turned against him.

Anakin narrowed in on the worst looking spot, a raw dripping bud right in the core, the place he most wanted to avoid but knew he should not. As he reached out and pried it open he was shocked by what he discovered. In the very heart of all this anguish, right in Obi-Wan’s center, there was one single ember of light. Anakin gently touched the scoria and it flared bright blue before quickly dying down to a low steady glimmer.

Skywalker’s eyes sprang open. “His light is still in there,” he nearly shouted as he turned to Yoda. “His Force signature looks damaged, like it’s been terribly injured, but deep inside, his light is protected.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan finally wakes up and is wondering what the hell has happened to his body.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Much love!


	2. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan finally wakes up but can't remember anything from the last few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got to write lucid Obi-Wan!! Hooray!
> 
> Thanks to all you lovely readers!

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

Obi-Wan woke from a dark, dreamless sleep. His vision was blurry as he groggily opened his heavy eyes. His head was twisted far over onto his right shoulder; he winced as he straitened his neck, letting his body stretch out.

He was lopsided in the bed like a drunken pirate. He had not slept in such an undignified position since he was a Padawan – well, at least maybe not since Hondo Ohnaka had plied him with a cask of strong pirate brew.

What on earth had happened to him? He felt awful; his head was pounding, he was disoriented, his body felt toxic and sedentary. He ran a rough hand over his face and pushed his tousled hair out of his eyes. Slowly, he pressed himself up until he was propped against several pillows, sitting for the first time in days. Dizziness threatened to overtake him but he willed himself to conquer the sensation. He took a deep breath and was startled by how easily he filled his lungs; there was no burning, no pressure, no wheezing.

The surprise made him pause and take stock of his other injuries. His body was tense and bruised from head to toe, but the serious wounds that had endlessly plagued him no longer hurt.

He looked down at his right hand. Purplish blue bruises stretched along the sides of his fingers and a greenish yellow bruise spread across his dorsum and palm. Reluctantly, he flexed and extended his fist then he rotated his wrist. No pain; none at all. He was shocked, and slightly suspicious.

Had he been asleep for days? The last thing he remembered was saying goodbye to Anakin as his friend left for a Council meeting to discuss Satine’s death. Obi-Wan had shared memories with his ex Padawan; it had been a harrowing experience that left him shaken and exhausted, and he had drifted off to sleep, unable to keep his eyes open.

Now he woke, alone in his hospital suite, feeling like he had been drunk for a week, with no sense of the date or time. He looked around and saw a datapad lying on the medical consul across the room. He reached out for it with the Force. The pad shifted a little but did not levitate. Obi-Wan’s brow tensed and his eyes narrowed as he concentrated, reaching out again with more focus. This time the datapad flew dexterously into his hands.

He pressed his palm to the screen, activating the device. The date and time appeared in the upper left corner but he quickly realized knowing the current day made no difference; he had no notion of how long he had been in the medical ward, not to mention how long he had been Maul’s prisoner, therefore he had no idea when he had last seen Anakin.

Obi-Wan’s attention was drawn to a large button on the screen that said _PATIENT FILES_. He opened it and saw a list of coded names. He scrolled through until he found a folder named _MASTER-OWK-JC_. His finger hovered over the item, hesitating for just a moment, before he tapped it. A new window opened asking for a password. He entered his personal ID number and his patient file opened in full.

 _Not terribly secure, is it?_ he thought.

On the screen’s left side was a running scroll of diagnostics and doctor notes, on the screen’s right side was a full body scan displaying all his injuries. The scan clearly outlined his numerous lacerations and burns, the dislocated shoulder, the broken hand, the burned eye, the broken nose, the knife wounds, and the collapsed lung.

Seeing his injuries represented in their entirety made Obi-Wan catch his breath. He should be dead. How had he survived?

He suddenly remembered. “Anakin…”

His Padawan had saved his life; Skywalker had not just come to the rescue, he had wrapped his life Force around Kenobi, staunching his massive blood loss. If not for Anakin, Obi-Wan would be dead.

_Just another miracle to prove that he is the chosen one._

Obi-Wan’s attention returned to the datapad. Treatments were extensive and reading through them made his skin crawl: cauterizations, injections, bacta tanks, skin grafts, wound irrigation, and on and on.

As he read through the list he suddenly realized he was clenching his teeth. He shook his head and stretched his jaw, willing himself to relax.

Just below the diagnostics was another folder titled _ADDITIONAL NOTES_. He clicked it, opening an extensive list of Doctor Neema’s personal annotations. As he read through them his eyes grew wide.

> _Wounds caused by Dathomirian blade refuse to heal. Have tried bacta injections directly into lacerations, as well as sutures and cauterization to no avail. Wounds appear to scab over and cell regeneration begins. Several days, occasionally only several hours, pass before wounds unexpectedly reopen._

> _Additional note: Patient was conscious for most recent occurrence and was in considerable discomfort. Deep sedation required._

Obi-Wan covered his mouth with his hand and took a calming breath. _Considerable discomfort_ was a ridiculous understatement. The pain had been all-consuming, as was the fear and panic that burned across his brain when he nearly drowned on the blood that seeped into his throat as the wound in his neck tore open.

He scrolled to the next note.

> _Patient displaying signs of emotional fatigue. Vivid dreaming regularly occurs, including re-creation of trauma, waking visions, and, according to Master Yoda, premonition._

He froze. Premonition? He did not recall any premonitions.

Something about this note felt particularly invasive. It was bad enough to have his entire body on display to the medical staff, and most likely the Council members, but to have his emotional and mental self exposed to scrutiny felt like a complete violation of privacy.

> _Patient regularly makes reference to the Duchess of Mandalore while in drug-induced sleep._

Obi-Wan’s chest contracted as he fought to control the surge of emotion that flared up in his heart. He had only himself to blame for this note. He should have placed better shields around Satine’s memory; he should have protected their relationship from the Council’s judgment. Surely by now they suspected, if not outright knew, that he had grown attached to her. _That I loved her_ , his internal monologue corrected.

He scrolled down to the next note that was time stamped only eighteen hours prior.

> _Patient has had the most remarkable recovery, yet circumstances are highly suspicious. At some point in the middle of the night Master Kenobi fell into a trauma-induced trance. Upon investigation it was discovered that he in fact had not suffered further injury, but rather his wounds had been healed. The patient’s panic-like state is still unaccounted for. Even more concerning was the patient’s physical condition. Master Kenobi’s clothes were torn open and all his blood-soaked bandages had been strewn about the room. My only explanation is that Kenobi somehow used the Force to heal himself, though Master Yoda disagrees, contending that Kenobi was too weak to attempt the process. I have never seen a patient heal so quickly, especially given the destructive nature of the Dathomirian wounds. I have no medical explanation for what has occurred. The Jedi Council fears there is some dark force at work._

This note was highly disturbing. Obi-Wan felt something sinister creep up his spine as his grip tightened on the datapad. He pulled his shirt up and ran a hand over the scars on his chest. They were not even tender to touch. If he healed himself, he had no memory of it.

His clothes had been torn…

His bandages had been removed…

His wounds had been healed…

Why could he not remember this? How could he be touched and manhandled and maneuvered without knowing it, without feeling it? He was not sure what disturbed him more: that someone else had done this to him or that he might have done this to himself.

> _Patient was highly agitated and required three times the normal dose for complete sedation._

Well that explained why it felt as though he had been trampled by a bantha.

> _All tests indicate that patient is in full recovery. Any remaining injuries are superficial and should not interfere with returning to active duty. Patient will be released from care after all sedation has worn off._

_Back to the front lines, I suppose_ , Obi-Wan thought. Was he really ready to head back to war? He could not decide if that was the best or worst place for him.

There was one final note.

> _I can’t help feeling I’ve somehow failed Master Kenobi. I was unable to completely heal him and I fear he endured prolonged suffering do to my inability to find a cure for the Dathomirian curse. I’ve only ever wanted what is best for my patients. Kenobi has been my most trying case, and, though medically I did all that was in my power, I think he deserved better than what I could offer._

Obi-Wan stared at the odd, sad confession for a long time. There had been moments where the sight of Doctor Neema filled him with dread, but he knew she was doing her best in a miserable situation. He certainly did not blame her.

He tapped on the datapad and added his own note just below her final entry.

> _I would not be alive without you, Doctor. I am eternally grateful. Please don’t second-guess yourself. It is important to acknowledge and respect your own talents. Remember that the Force will always show you the way. – OWK_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan heads back into Jedi life but quickly realizes things things are not quite the same as they used to be.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	3. The Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan faces some hard truths, but the needling voice in the back of his mind is making it difficult to concentrate. Yoda lays down the law and Kenobi is not pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the story is going to start getting more interesting now :)

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

On the following morning Doctor Neema approved Obi-Wan’s release. Anakin brought him a change of clothes so he would not have to walk through the temple in medical garb. There was something oddly comforting about his familiar tunic and trousers. He ritualistically wrapped the fabrics around his bruises and scars, carefully pulling his high, stiff collar against the laceration, now a painless ragged white line that twisted around his neck. Two days ago the thought of doing this would have been unbearable.

He stared at his reflection in the small looking glass mounted on the wall, turning his head to inspect the deep, discolored scar that spread from above his brow to below his cheekbone. It still ached but at least his vision was intact. The line was dark, purplish, and sharp at the ends, no longer puckered and swollen.

He straitened up and ran his hands down his tunic smoothing out the last minute wrinkle. “This will have to do,” he said resignedly. He wrapped his belt around his waist and was surprised to find he had to pull it tighter than usual. He methodically tugged on his boots then stepped out into the hall where Anakin waited for him.

“You look almost normal,” Skywalker said boisterously.

“There’s a compliment in there, I’m sure,” Kenobi replied dryly with a wry smile.

“Good to see you up and about it is.”

The two men turned to see Yoda approaching.

“Thank you, Master,” Obi-Wan said bowing slightly.

“So what do you want to do first?” Anakin asked thumping Obi-Wan on the back. “Room of a Thousand Fountains? The temple lake? The mess hall? I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

Obi-Wan arched an eyebrow. Food was always a solution for Anakin. “I don’t mean to be rude but I’d rather simply go to my quarters. Don’t worry about me. If you’re hungry, Anakin, you should go eat.”

Skywalker exchanged quick looks with Yoda before responding. “No, no, I’ll stay with you.”

 _Spying on me?_ Kenobi thought.

“Accompany you to your rooms we will,” Yoda said determinedly.

“As you wish,” Obi-Wan replied.

They made their way through the temple, meandering down corridors, taking the lift, and entering the section where Council members lived.

Obi-Wan was surprised by how strong his body felt. _The Force is truly a miraculous healer_ , he thought. However, he could not quell the hyperactive flutter in his core, the sense that something inside him was not as it should be. He still had not recovered his memories of how he healed; it was disturbing to have such a defining gap in his thoughts.

Something about his Force signature was unnatural. _He_ was unnatural.

_You are rage…_

He gave a little start as the thought crept into his mind.

He walked on, blindly following Anakin, completely oblivious to his surroundings.

_You are revenge…_

Obi-Wan could only focus on the voice inside his head. His eyes grew wide and unblinking. His breath grew shallow and shaky.

_You are hunger…_

There was nothing but darkness around him.

_You are thirst…_

A crushing emptiness.

_You are destruction…_

“Here we are,” Anakin chirped. He turned to Obi-Wan and was surprised to find him staring blankly at the wall, his face pale. Skywalker placed a hand gently on Kenobi’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Obi-Wan slowly blinked and came back to himself. He looked at Anakin as the darkness around him receded. “I’m fine.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

Kenobi ignored the strange look Skywalker gave him. He realized they were standing at his own front door so he placed his palm on the keypad and the durasteel panel slid open. The room was adumbral; the blinds covering the wall of windows cast eerie horizontal shadows on the simple furniture.

“Home sweet home…” Obi-Wan said awkwardly. He was reluctant to enter at first; something felt unfamiliar. He placed his hands on either doorjamb and took a steadying breath. The last time he had been in his quarters he was hurrying about, preparing to depart for Mandalore to rescue Satine.

Finally, sensing Yoda and Anakin’s apprehension, he forced himself to step through the door.

Anakin immediately went into the kitchen and started the kettle for tea – old Padawan habits die hard – while Obi-Wan and Yoda sat down in the living chamber.

“There are things we must discuss,” the Grand Master said, settling across from Kenobi.

Obi-Wan had been expecting this. He crossed his legs casually, resting his left ankle on his right knee, and leaned back. He waited patiently for Yoda to speak.

“First, I must say, how grateful I am for your recovery. You are a Jedi with unparalleled fortitude.”

Kenobi looked away, shamed by the intended compliment. A man with _unparalleled fortitude_ would not beg for mercy nor wish to die. He had done both, kneeling at Maul’s feet.

Yoda paused, taking stock of the younger man. “Distressed by my words already you are,” he said with concern in his voice. “What troubles you, Obi-Wan?”

“Nothing, Master,” Kenobi said, wrenching his emotions under control. “Please forgive me.”

Yoda instantly dropped the formalities, deciding to get directly to the point. He jabbed his gimer stick in Obi-Wan’s direction. “Fool me you cannot. Your wounds healed they may be, but your mind, full of darkness it still is. You will not be allowed to carry on indulging your anger.”

Obi-Wan’s lips inadvertently curled and his eyes narrowed. _I beg your pardon. Allowed?_

He suddenly felt Anakin reach out to him through the Force. _Easy, Master. Just hear him out._

Kenobi almost rolled his eyes. He swallowed his indignation and refocused on the Grand Master. “Perhaps a few months in the Agri Corps is all I need.”

Yoda was not amused by the jibe. “Your status as a Council member is in question.”

Obi-Wan was clearly surprised by the comment.

“Understood it is that many times you have broken the Jedi Code.”

The noise in the kitchen suddenly stopped.

“What?” Obi-Wan could not believe his ears. “I’ve given my life to the Code.”

Anakin moved into the kitchen doorway, warily watching the exchange between the two masters. He had not expected Yoda to breach this subject so quickly; he had hoped the Council would give Kenobi at least a few days to adjust before delivering such potentially devastating news.

“Attachment is your downfall, Obi-Wan,” Yoda asserted.

The words stung like a slap in the face. Kenobi flinched and looked away.

“Attachment to your Padawan with whom you refuse to break your training bond. Attachment to your master for whom you constantly mourn. Attachment to the Duchess of Mandalore…”

“Please don’t,” Obi-Wan interrupted pleadingly. Kenobi was visibly distressed. “You’re right. Attachment is one of my _many_ downfalls.”

Yoda’s voice softened. “You are not being punished for your weaknesses, Obi-Wan. The Council cannot accept you back until prove you can that you are true to the Code once more. Council members must all be held to a certain standard and you are no exception. See we must that ready for the burden you are.”

Obi-Wan ran a nervous hand over his face as his emotions quickly overwhelmed him. Maul had stripped him of this as well; he had lost his belief in the Jedi Code and therefore lost his place of honor on the High Council. The Sith had truly ruined him.

The Grand Master climbed down from his seat and made his way over to Kenobi, standing directly in front of him. “Obi-Wan, listen to me now,” Yoda said gently. “I will speak only truth to you. Harsh sometimes it may be, but willing I am not to lose such a valued Jedi to the Dark path. Sense you do that something is not right, that you are unbalanced?”

Obi-Wan clenched his jaw, biting back the incredible fear rising in his gorge. “Yes. Something is wrong with me,” he quietly admitted.

Yoda closed his eyes and hummed his agreement. “Hmmm, sense it I do, yes. Your connection to the Force, altered it is.” He looked up in time to see Kenobi shiver as though a chill ran up his body. “Find a solution we will, Obi-Wan.”

 _Everything…_ Kenobi’s mind was racing. _I’ve lost everything…_

The younger Jedi Master was trembling with frustration; he looked like he was about to devolve into a full panic attack. Yoda placed a hand on his shoulder. “Breathe, Obi-Wan.”

Anakin took a quick step forward but the Grand Master held up a hand, signaling him to remain where he stood.

 _Satine…_ Obi-Wan could feel the darkness returning, creeping in around his mind’s edges. _Please help me…_

Yoda watched as a change came over Kenobi; the young man’s eyes grew wide and empty and his head suddenly twitched to the side as though some invisible thing were dragging him against his will.

 _I will take everything._ The voice in Obi-Wan’s head was back. _I will kill everyone you hold dear._

 _Not now_ , Kenobi pleaded with himself. _Not in front of Yoda. Don’t let them see me like this._

Obi-Wan wrenched himself free from the all-consuming darkness. He looked at Yoda before raking a shaking hand through his hair.

The Grand Master saw Kenobi’s eyes soften and refocus. “What happened?” he asked soothingly. “A vision did you have?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I’m sorry. I seem to be having trouble concentrating.” He sounded genuinely apologetic. “Thoughts seem to sneak up on me in a way I can’t yet control.” Kenobi was disturbed by the idea that he could not completely trust his own mind. He knew he could still control his mental shields, even from Yoda if he wished, but this voice kept creeping in, kept breaking down his defenses, and, most frightening of all, it did not sound like his own voice.

“This is why you may not yet return to the Council. You cannot be privy to Jedi and Senate secrets until you are in full control of your faculties.”

Obi-Wan grimaced, knowing that Yoda was right. “Have you stripped me of my status as a general as well?”

“A general you will remain, but you will not be returning to the front lines.”

Kenobi was disappointed. “Master, please. I need a distraction. I can’t just sit here.”

“Ready you are not,” Yoda said firmly. The Grand Master signaled for Anakin to go back into the kitchen. Skywalker obediently went to finish making tea. Then Yoda leaned in closer to Obi-Wan. “You doubt your place as a Jedi. Considering leaving the Order you are.” Yoda’s suspicions were confirmed when Kenobi’s face gave a slight, angry twitch. “You cannot expect to return to your duties while conflict grows in your heart.”

Obi-Wan could not deny the truth in Yoda’s words. He wanted to go back to his life, pick up where he left off, but deep down he knew he was not himself, he was volatile, and he would never want to put Cody and his men at risk by leading them into combat before he was ready.

He bowed his head, feeling rather ashamed. “Yes, Master,” Kenobi said quietly.

The young Jedi looked not resigned but defeated. Yoda’s heart lurched as he saw the boy Obi-Wan had once been; eager to please, desperate to prove his worth, and so tender hearted that he felt every disappointment deep in his bones.

“Obi-Wan, trust you I still do,” the Grand Master said lifting Kenobi’s chin, refusing to let one of his greatest Jedi submit to devastation. “Care for you I most certainly do. Protect you I _will_.” The young man met Yoda’s strong gaze. “Give up on you I _have not.”_

The Jedi shared an unspoken bond: Yoda to Dooku, Dooku to Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan. Their lineage was noble and powerful, and though Obi-Wan always knew Yoda would do what the Force demanded, whether or not that meant sacrificing Kenobi for the greater good, at least Obi-Wan knew Yoda cared for him on a more personal level.

“For your own good, promise me that you will do as I instruct.”

“I promise, Master.” 

“Good. Together we will heal your connection to the Force.” Yoda returned to his seat as Anakin brought in the tea. “Though you will not be returning to your usual duties, training I have for you. Strictly you will be required to keep to it.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You must take this time to find your center. Meditate for at least one hour, three times a day you will.” Yoda took a careful sip of his hot tea.

Required meditation was no surprise. Though Obi-Wan did not look forward to it, he knew it was the best way to bring order to his chaotic mind. _That’s not so bad. I can manage three times a day._

“Meet with me every evening you must.” Yoda suddenly continued. “You are to refrain from any physical training except for morning katas.”

Obi-Wan did not like this stricture; he understood that sparring might increase his aggressive feelings, but he needed an outlet for his pent up frustration. Katas and meditation would hardly quell the fury rushing through his limbs.

Yoda noticed Obi-Wan’s face looked more and more reluctant but he carried on. “You will restrict your diet to only plants, clear liquids, and simple water creatures. You will walk daily with Anakin through the gardens and the Room of a Thousand Fountains. You will rise with the sun and you will sleep when your star cycle crests the evening zenith. You will follow these instructions without deviation or resistance.” The Grand Master knew Kenobi would not like being so regulated, but he also knew the young Jedi would do as he was told.

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan was shocked by the severe restrictions. Half of him knew the structure would do him good, but the other half resented being told how to live and care for his own body. It was hardly the kind of training he expected, but the more he thought about it the more he came to realize it was an exercise in control; in order to faithfully maintain this regimen, he would have to be extremely disciplined. Every facet of his daily routine would require focus and restraint. Obi-Wan was not sure he would succeed.

“The day is only half gone,” Yoda said, taking another sip of tea. “Today you must make time to meditate, but the other elements of your training may begin tomorrow.”

Obi-Wan could barely hide his irritation. “As you wish, Master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan can't fool Anakin.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	4. The Council’s Lackey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Anakin try to figure out where their friendship stands. In the end, they make a disturbing discovery together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends,
> 
> Just want to say a quick thank you to everyone that has read, commented, bookmarked, and kudosed! It means so much to me.

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

Yoda did not stay much longer. After his departure, Obi-Wan and Anakin sat in awkward silence for a long time. Kenobi felt restless, like his instincts were telling him to flee the temple while his rational mind told him that Yoda’s training regimen was the right thing to do for recovery.

He leaned forward and stared down into his mug of tea, lost in thought. The Council was certainly taking quick action against him. According to Doctor Neema he had barely been recovered more than twenty-four hours and already he was banned from his duties, restricted from practically every Jedi responsibility except meditation.

Suspicion crept into the back of his mind. Kenobi wrapped his hands around the scalding hot teacup, firmly pressing his palms into the heat, letting the discomfort radiate through his bones until he could no longer bear it. He looked up at Anakin. “What do you all know that you’re not telling me?”

Skywalker looked surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Did you see something or hear something? Something you’re waiting for me to remember?”

The Council had forbidden Anakin from telling Obi-Wan about his wounded Force signature. They felt knowing the extent of the damage would be detrimental to Kenobi’s healing.

“Have you started to remember?” Anakin asked hopefully.

“No.”

The two men stared at each other in silence. Kenobi could not read his ex Padawan’s face, nor was there any communication through their training bond, but there was something about the younger man’s body language that Obi-Wan did not trust. Anakin looked like he was protecting himself, like he was reinforcing his mental shields. “You’re keeping something from me,” Kenobi finally said, a slight edge to his voice. His eyes suddenly grew wide as a horrible thought entered his mind. “Are you _afraid_ of me?”

Skywalker’s face looked worried. “Why would you say that?”

“You are!” Obi-Wan shook his head in disbelief. “Did I die and wake up in an alternate reality where the Council doesn’t trust me and my Padawan is afraid of me?”

“Master,” Anakin’s voice was deliberately calm. “You’ve been through a lot. You still need time to recover.”

“I’m fine, Anakin.”

“There’s no way you are fine.” Skywalker’s tone silenced Kenobi’s annoyance. “No one would be _fine_ after what you just lived through.” Anakin set down his tea and edged forward on his chair. “Obi-Wan, I’m not _afraid_ of you. I just want what’s best for you. Yoda thinks I don’t know, but I’m not stupid; I know you’re thinking of leaving the Order. If that’s what you want, I’ll support you. If you want to stay, I’ll support that too. But I’m not letting you go anywhere until I know you’re balanced and under control.”

“I’m controlled,” Obi-Wan snapped.

“No, you’re not. I saw you in the corridor. You were _not_ in control. I don’t know what’s going on with you…” Anakin raised his hands defensively, preempting Kenobi’s snarky retort, “…You don’t have to tell me anything. But before you bite my head off, try to remember that you just told Yoda you sensed something was wrong.”

Obi-Wan frowned and leaned back in his seat. “You’re right,” he said begrudgingly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.”

Kenobi rubbed a hand over his beard. “I feel like a Padawan again; everyone making decisions on my behalf without consulting me, telling me what to eat and when to sleep. I’m a Jedi Master, for goodness sake. I can take care of myself.”

“I know it’s frustrating, but no Jedi has ever survived the kind of tortured you were subjected to. The Council doesn’t know what to expect from you. They’re just trying to err on the side of caution.”

“A little more trust would be nice. As you say, I’ve been through quite enough without being shunned and alienated by my own people.”

Anakin nodded agreement. “I think you should be given the benefit of the doubt but the Council says that your privileged status makes you a greater liability and they want to observe you for a while.”

Kenobi arched a brow. “Observe me? Like a science specimen?” Anakin simply shrugged in response. “And I suppose you are responsible for watching me?”

“I am.”

“Since when do you willingly play the Council’s lackey?”

“I’m not supposed to tell you any of this,” Anakin said defensively, “but I think you have a right to know exactly where you stand.”

Obi-Wan felt the clenched knot in his chest loosen. At least he had not lost Anakin. “Thank you, my friend.” He took a sip of his tea then crossed his legs. “So what? The Council thinks I’ll go the way of Dooku and run to the Dark Side?”

“You can’t deny how angry you’ve been.”

Kenobi conceded the point by scowling and rolling his eyes.

“Haven’t you felt even the slightest bit tempted?” Anakin asked sheepishly.

Obi-Wan snorted then broke into an amused half smile. “What kind of question is that?” Kenobi quickly became serious again when he saw the honest worry on Anakin’s face. He softened his tone. “Do you think I would fall so easily?”

Anakin looked bewildered. “What Maul put you through was anything but easy.”

Kenobi looked away but Anakin saw him visibly shiver. Then, suddenly, an uncontrolled surge of hysteria broke across their bond. In that instant Skywalker saw the wild, frenzied turmoil in Kenobi’s mind.

The sensation was overwhelming. How could his master live with this constant feeling of being hunted?

As suddenly as his control had slipped, Kenobi slammed his mental shields back into place.

Anakin stared at his master in disbelief. On the surface, Obi-Wan appeared composed, for the most part, and passably calm, but underneath he was in absolute distress. How could anyone hope to control such a tempest? He wanted to wrap Obi-Wan in an embrace, just as Kenobi had done for him when he was a child, but Anakin was not sure such open affection would be welcomed. Instead, he settled for wrapping his Force signature around Kenobi’s.

Obi-Wan visibly bristled as his breath caught in his chest; his eyelids fluttered erratically and his lips pulled up involuntarily in disgust. He clenched his jaw against the discomfort.

Anakin release him quickly. “I’m sorry.”

Kenobi gulped for air, working to steady his rampaging pulse. “It’s alright,” he stammered. “You… you simply startled me.” Obi-Wan had no explanation for what just happened. When Anakin’s Force signature touched his, it suddenly felt like electrified ice was coursing though Kenobi’s veins. The sensation was unbearable. “Did you feel it too?”

Skywalker looked disturbed. “No. I didn’t feel anything. It was like your side of the bond was empty. I can still sense you, but it’s like I can’t touch you.”

Kenobi performed a quick internal check. “There’s still a bond. I can feel it.”

“What do you think this means? We can communicate but we can’t reach out to each other?” Skywalker’s eyes betrayed his alarm.

“I’m not sure, but don’t worry, Anakin. We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan performs his first meditation and faces some nasty internal demons. Will he ever truly be rid of Maul?
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	5. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan performs his first meditation and encounters a host of internal demons. He struggles to navigate through his mind's haunted wilderness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying the story so far. This chapter is dark (and sad) but that's what you're here for, right? ;) Sorry, not sorry!
> 
> I'm a huge fan of classical mythology and astronomy. I reference something called a star cycle. It's not a Star Wars thing but considering Star Wars is based on the monomyth (i.e. Joseph Campbell's _Hero with a Thousand Faces_ ) and incorporates a lot of Greek mythology, I thought it was fitting - especially since many constellations tell mythological stories.
> 
> For those of you who aren't space nerds ;) an asterism is a prominent pattern or group of stars, typically having a popular name but smaller than a constellation. The best example I can think of is Orion's belt. It's a group of stars contained within a larger constellation.
> 
> OK, enough of my nerding out. Onward!

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

Obi-Wan was finally alone in his room. The sun had set hours ago and his star cycle, the asterism that contained his birth planet and a constellation that told the story of a war hero taken by the gods as a servant, was only an hour from its zenith. He had put off his meditation all evening, finding it difficult to face his inner demons. He sat cross-legged in the dark on a large round cushion that allowed him an excellent view of the glittering cityscape. He watched rows of traffic weave between spires and skyscrapers, marveling at their speed and quantity. The millions of vehicles looked like steady rivers streaming across the city; Obi-Wan found their undulation calming.

He had avoided his responsibility long enough. He settled himself, resting his wrists on his knees, tightening his abdominal muscles to support his lower back, rolling his shoulders and neck until they were comfortable. Ignoring the ache pulsing in the scar that stretched across his eye, he used the mesmerizing view to slow his breathing, drawing air in and out in a consistent flow. As his oxygenated blood increased his ability to focus, he closed his eyes and began shutting down his external senses, journeying deeper and deeper into his mental abyss. The universe slipped away; stars, planets, souls, past, present, and future sped by as he sunk lower into his calm inner sanctum. He directed the Force that swirled around him, culling it into his center, holding it tightly in one single point.

Without opening his eyes he could sense that his surroundings had changed; he recognized the muffled ambience and temperate atmosphere of his internal sacellum. There was no chaos here, nor trauma nor conflict; this sanctuary was a neutral space, free from evil and purity, empty of emotion and temptation. It was the perfect place to begin his introspection; it was the core of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s power.

Rather than stretching out into the Force, he pulled everything inside himself. He concentrated his energy into a small spot located right behind his eyes, distilling his consciousness and breath and senses into silence. The absence of thought and feelings allowed him to find balance and control. When he felt substantially centered, he took one final cleansing breath then opened his eyes.

The space around him was dark and shadowy, mottled with patches of milky starlight. Before him stretched a narrow path, twisting and turning through an inky forest; gnarled black trees spread as far as the eye could see, strange twinkling lights flitting between their shattered branches. Obi-Wan stood and walked to the spot where the trail entered the wood. Once he went in, there would be no turning back. If he wanted to heal and recover his place as a Jedi, he would have to face whatever lived in this wilderness.

He stepped off and began his trek, letting the meandering path guide him, never able to see or intuit what waited around a blind curve or beyond a hill’s crest. Eventually, the trees thinned and moonlight filtered through the scattered canopy. He could see snowcapped peaks silhouetted against the darkness far off in the distance. Obi-Wan did not recognize any of his surroundings; his subconscious seemed to be meshing several planetary landscapes into one massive wilderness. He wondered at the forbidding crags and ancient trees, trying to remember what systems he might have visited that influenced his internal terrain.

The path curved away from the mountainous view and began following a lazy stream back into the foliage. This part of the wood was older, less dense, and the treetops soared higher, more than forty feet above the forest floor. Obi-Wan stopped to take in the dark beauty and the cathedral-like timber vault that spread overhead.

He was standing still, his head tipped back, staring up into the leaves when he suddenly heard a sound that made his blood run cold. Muffled but persistent, someone just behind him was gasping for breath, choking on dry sobs.

Terror rattled through his body and his limbs felt numb; now that the moment had arrived, he was not sure he had the courage to face his inner darkness. A raspy, agonized voice was fighting to speak. “Obi… Obi-Wan… help me…”

Kenobi recognized the voice even before he forced himself to turn around. There on the forest floor, Qui-Gon Jinn lay on his back in a dark pool of blood, his arms and legs sprawled in all directions.

“Padawan… where are you?”

Obi-Wan’s chest heaved violently as he tried to steady himself. _This isn’t real. It’s just my fear._ He stood over his dying master, unable to move, trembling from head to toe. Panic was rising in him faster than he could control. _I can’t live through this again…_

Qui-Gon looked up at him with desperate eyes. “Obi-Wan…” There was a massive wound in his chest; he could barely get the words out. “How could you let this happen to me?”

The brutal accusation shocked the younger Jedi. “Let this happen?” He could not keep his voice from shaking. _Why would I let this happen?_

Seeing his master in such a piteous state made Obi-Wan’s heart lurch. Real or not, he refused to simply stand by and watch Qui-Gon suffer. He sank to his knees and pulled his master into his arms. “It’s alright, Qui-Gon. I’m here.”

“Young one… help me…”

He stroked the older man’s cheek, looking into his familiar gentle eyes. _Theed is where my life changed irrevocably_ , he thought. _It was the worst moment of my youth._ “I’ve got you now, Master.”

“Where… is… Anakin?”

 _Anakin?_ The question was like a slap in the face. _Why always Anakin? Why never me?_ “I… I don’t know,” Obi-Wan responded quietly.

“You promised me…”

“I trained him, Master, just as you commanded…”

“Then why isn’t he here? Why isn’t he here with me?”

“ _I’m_ here with you…”

“But you are not the chosen one… You are just a disappointment…”

Obi-Wan felt his restraint slip as his insides gave a sickening twist. Was this his own mind playing tricks, or was this truly his master’s opinion of him?

 _Quick to anger, impulsive, headstrong_ , the cold voice in his head whispered.

“I’ve tried, Qui-Gon, I promise.”

“You… are weak…”

_Cold, unfeeling, aloof…_

“No, I’m not. You were _impossible_ to please.”

“You were an inferior Padawan.”

Obi-Wan pulled Qui-Gon tighter. “Don’t say that, please,” he pleaded.

_Empty, abandoned, unworthy…_

“Master, you were all I had.”

“I wanted to care for you…” Qui-Gon’s breath was beginning to give out. “…but Anakin is the chosen one…not you… Never you…”

“Master?” Obi-Wan clutched at Jinn, their foreheads touching. “Please don’t leave me again.”

Qui-Gon reached up and touched Obi-Wan’s cheek. “What… have you… done?” He fell back, dead.

“No!” Shaking violently, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his master.

His mind was reeling, desperately trying to sort out the truth from his emotional projections, but that line was becoming more and more blurred. Why was he plagued with incessant doubts about Qui-Gon? Why was he never certain that his master respected him or cared for him or trusted him? Why could he no longer trust the memories he carried in his heart?

Because, in the end, all it took to sway Qui-Gon’s loyalty was a little slave boy with a high midichlorian count. Never mind the decades Obi-Wan had spent as his student, the affection, the obedience, the hard-won place he had _earned_ at his master’s side. Initially Qui-Gon had not willingly accepted Obi-Wan as a Padawan; the Force brought them together against Qui-Gon’s wishes, and some less than subtle nudging from Yoda. He had not been an easy master; in the beginning he had been reproachful and inclined to moodiness. It took months, even years before Qui-Gon fully opened his heart to the boy.

Then, in an instant, Anakin had taken Obi-Wan’s place. Qui-Gon had practically forced his Padawan aside in pursuit of some witless prophesy about _The Chosen One_. Kenobi had tried to be gracious, tried to suppress his jealousy – he knew it was unbecoming of a Jedi – but, in all honesty, his master had wounded him deeply.

Now, in this oppressive forest, as he once again held Qui-Gon dead in his arms, Obi-Wan finally admitted he was infuriated. He had always told himself that it was his own fault, that he had done something to push Qui-Gon away, but he finally internalized that his master had forsaken him, cast him aside without a second thought. Obi-Wan felt incredibly guilty for being angry with a man he loved and revered, but he had to speak the truth to himself, he had to concede that Qui-Gon’s rejection had been awful to experience. His master had probably not intended to hurt him, but Qui-Gon’s carelessness had crushed Obi-Wan.

He lay down his master’s lifeless body and stood. There was no closure to be had in a twisted memory such as this. He still felt culpable in his master’s death; admitting his anger did not relieve that burden. He had to move on…

“Kenobi…”

Obi-Wan froze where he stood. He knew that voice; it sent ice up his spine.

The trees rustled behind him and he felt a dark force approaching, seeping out of the shadows and stalking toward him on claw-like feet.

“…I knew I would find you here.”

Fighting his instinct to run, Obi-Wan’s hand reached for his lightsaber but he was startled to find he was not carrying his weapon. _This is just meditation, Kenobi_ , he chastised himself. _No need to do battle inside your own head!_

He tried to turn around but Maul was already directly behind him, gently placing his hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders, holding him in place.

The Dathomirian leaned down and whispered into Kenobi’s ear. “Standing over your master’s bones yet again.”

Obi-Wan clenched his jaw. “You’re not real.”

Maul barked a strange loud laugh. He wrapped one powerful arm around Obi-Wan’s chest and pulled the Jedi back against him. “Oh yes I am.”

Kenobi’s pulse skyrocketed, his vision blurred, and he felt dizzy as overwhelming terror bloomed across his nerves. Maul had made him suffer deeply, put him through unthinkable torture; being in the Sith’s presence immediately elicited all of Obi-Wan’s learned fear. He was paralyzed with anxiety, suddenly unable to move a muscle to defend himself.

“You will never be rid of me, _Jedi_. I know all your weaknesses. I will be your undoing.” Maul cupped a hand under Obi-Wan’s chin and pulled his head back. “I’m inside your mind now. There’s nowhere left for you to run.”

The Sith suddenly spun Obi-Wan around to face him and brought a knee up into the Jedi’s gut. He brutally punched Kenobi in the face then threw him across the forest floor.

Obi-Wan’s ears were ringing. He lay in a heap, unable to move for many minutes. When he finally propped himself up on his forearms, he saw that he was alone. Qui-Gon and Maul had disappeared.

A ragged bolt of lightening suddenly pierced the night sky, followed by a terrifying clap of thunder. Massive black storm clouds charged across the horizon bringing a torrent of drenching rain. Obi-Wan watched the storm rush toward him, lifting his face to the sky as the downpour broke through the tree canopy and engulfed him. He was soaked through in moments.

He dragged himself up and looked for cover, eventually making his way to a large pile of boulders that stood under a cluster of heavy branches. He pressed himself against the rocks, pushing his dripping hair out of his eyes. Raindrops splashed off his nose while mud thickened under his boots; the shelter was hardly satisfactory.

Obi-Wan was nudging deeper into the darkness under the ancient tree trunks when he suddenly lost his footing and slipped sideways, tumbling through a masonry archway concealed behind the boulders. He lay facedown on a stone staircase that descended into the confines of the earth.

He hesitated for a moment. This meditation had already overwhelmed his emotions; he had seen enough for one night and was ready to escape this nightmare, but the Force had obviously led him to this cavern for a reason.

From deep in the darkness spreading before him he heard a faint voice. The subterranean grotto distorted sound, making the disembodied words unintelligible. The sound sent a shiver up Obi-Wan’s body. He was reluctant to experience whatever dreadful encounter this cave hosted; he would much rather be back in his room on Coruscant.

The rain started coming down even harder, chilling Kenobi to the bone, drenching his clothes until they became heavy and awkward. Reluctantly deciding in favor of better shelter, Obi-Wan headed down into the underground den, taking each step slowly and silently. The eerie echoes implied there was a vaulted chamber at the very bottom. As he approached he could see it was lit by lamp droids hovering in the air.

With only five steps remaining, the mysterious voice suddenly cried out, freezing Obi-Wan where he stood. It was a woman, alone and miserable.

“I hate the Jedi!” she screeched, her words rent with emotions and accompanied by a sob. “And I hate _you_ , Obi-Wan Kenobi!”

Obi-Wan’s legs gave out and he sank to the steps, pressing his back against the stone wall.

_Satine._

“I thought you loved me…” the sudden emotional outburst seemed to drain her strength, her voice becoming tired and weak. “I thought you loved me…” She was crying heavily now. “Oh, Obi-Wan,” she mumbled over and over.

He knew it was not real, he knew whoever was down there retching their heart out was not actually Satine, it was just a projection of his mind; but the verisimilitude was unnerving. Obi-Wan knew he did not currently have the fortitude to face her, not even a false Satine, so he closed his eyes.

This torment was not like the others he had face on tonight’s journey. When Qui-Gon died, Obi-Wan had been a victim of circumstance. When Maul captured him, he had fallen into a carefully laid trap. He had tried to do the right thing in both instances. But with Satine, things were different. He knew, as he sat there listening to her sobs, that he was overhearing the heartbreak she felt the afternoon he abandoned her on Mandalore. He had caused this agony. When they were young they had fallen madly in love, but when the time came to make a decision, he had chosen to remain a Jedi. He had been inexperienced and confused; their last words had been spoken in anger, and he had broken Satine’s heart. He boarded a transport with Qui-Gon and never looked back.

“Why didn’t you stay, Obi?”

Her voice was right in front of him. He looked up, startled.

Satine, beautiful and sad, stared down at him. She looked exactly as she had the day he met her, vulnerable, angry, and desperate for kindness. When they met, she had just lost her parents, her family home had been occupied by mercenaries, and she had been forced into hiding, on the run alone with two strange Jedi. Obi-Wan felt as though he had fallen back through time.

“I wanted to stay,” His voice sounded shy and apologetic.

“But duty always comes first,” Satine said unsympathetically.

“I’m so sorry, Satine…”

“Don’t,” she shouted. “I don’t want to hear your lies or excuses.” She suddenly slapped him in the face. Then she struck him again. And again and again, an unending barrage raining down on him…

  


…Obi-Wan’s eyes sprang open. He yelped, throwing his hands out to catch himself as he fell off his seat; he sprawled across the floor, landing on his face. Shaking his head, he righted himself and looked around the room. He was back in his quarters in the Jedi temple, the endless traffic lines still spiraling across the city outside his window. The sky was dark so he glanced at his chrono; the sun would rise in about an hour and a half. He was shocked to find he had been meditating for nearly the entire night.

A nagging sense of dread remained rooted in his core, a parting gift from the visions he had just wandered through. He went to the kitchen and splashed cold water on his face. He knew he should take time to reflect on what he had just seen, he should work to recognize and organize the themes that presented themselves to him during meditation, but, in truth, he had absolutely no wish to revisit any of what he had just seen. The anxiety he currently felt was enough to make him consider never meditating again, and he certainly could not imagine going to sleep. He knew that as soon as he surrendered control of his consciousness, these horrors would take over and haunt his dreams.

He felt chilled to the bone, as though he had actually been out in a rainstorm. He grabbed a blanket out of the bedroom and, wrapping it around himself, pulled a chair over to the panoramic window in the living area. He sat down, tucking his legs up under himself then he plastered his eye on the horizon, counting the minutes until the sun rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? We'll see how well Obi-Wan is dealing with Yoda's training regimen (not well at all...). Anakin fights a losing battle to protect his friend.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	6. The Downward Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan begins to tailspin while he fights to maintain discipline. As his body grows hungrier, his thoughts grow darker. How long can he keep this up before he snaps?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Friends,
> 
> Thanks to all you wonderful readers out there! I hope you're enjoying yourselves. In a few chapters, things are going to take a turn. Hope you like where it goes.

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

The first time Obi-Wan snapped at a youngling, Anakin wrote it off as exhaustion. His master was obviously not sleeping; in the first few days after his release from the medical ward, Obi-Wan seemed continually drowsy, but after a week he began to look downright wild. There were deep bruise-like circles around Kenobi’s red-rimmed eyes and he was constantly fidgeting and irritable. One morning, during their walk, they sat on the grass near the temple lake. A group of children were swimming in the clear water, splashing and laughing. Kenobi grew more and more annoyed until he finally shouted for them to “cease their incessant prattling.” It was not the first nor the last time the Jedi master openly lost control of his temper; on one occasion he even called Mace Windu an “arrogant ass” right to the Council member’s face.

  


* * *

  


After a week of following Yoda’s dietary regimen, Obi-Wan was starving, driven to distraction by hunger pains. Clear broths and simple foods were not enough to feed the Jedi’s blood, nor give him sufficient nutrients to improve his mental and physical health. He took his meals with Anakin and he often found himself staring longingly at his friend’s plate, fighting the urge to reach out and snatch a morsel into his mouth. He always finished eating well before Anakin, his stomach still audibly growling despite the food he ingested. Kenobi knew that Skywalker pitied him; in an act of solidarity the younger man even made an attempt to follow the same dietary restrictions. Within two days Anakin was clearly losing his mind with hunger, grumbling constantly to Obi-Wan about the stupidity of the Council. Though Kenobi did not disagree with his friend, and though he appreciated the act of camaraderie, he told Anakin to drop the routine and return to eating whatever he wanted.

“There’s no point in both of us being unpleasant company,” a chagrined Kenobi said to Skywalker with a frown.

After weeks spent in captivity and under a doctor’s care, Obi-Wan was desperate to sink his teeth into something satisfying. He did his best to control the jealousy that scuttled around in his heart, but he wanted what Anakin had, he wanted his freedom back. The angry voice in Obi-Wan’s head fueled his unrest, hinting that the Jedi were using food to keep him in a weakened state, that they were distracting him with hunger in order to keep him under their control.

 _They’re trying to restrict your powers_ , it whispered to him daily.

_The Jedi fear your potential._

_Patience_ , it soothed. _Soon you will be set free._

  


* * *

  


Accompanying Obi-Wan on his journey to recovery had become an exercise in patience for Anakin. His restless nature made it difficult to follow a methodic, plodding daily routine, but for his master’s sake he was determined to do his part. Therefore, every morning he met Obi-Wan in his quarters and escorted him on a walk through the gardens as Yoda’s regimen required. The two men talked sparingly – in truth Kenobi rarely spoke to anyone these days except Anakin and Yoda – but they never missed a chance to poke fun at each other.

Occasionally during their walks, Kenobi abashedly asked Skywalker to pause for a while so he could meditate. He even went so far as to ask Anakin to sit directly next to him. At first this surprised Skywalker because Obi-Wan had always been very private. However, after observing only one session, Anakin quickly learned that meditating had become a harrowing experience for his master. He understood that Obi-Wan was not asking him to participate but wanted him nearby for emotional support. Though Skywalker had never been fond of meditating, he would patiently sit for an hour or more while Kenobi entered a light trance.

Each time Obi-Wan slipped into a meditative state Anakin knew his friend faced paralyzing fear; watching his master struggle with unspoken burdens was heartbreaking. Serenity nearly always eluded Kenobi; as he drifted deeper into his unconscious world he would grow panicked rather than sedate. His jaw would tense and his hands curled into fists while his breathing became unsteady. When this happened, Anakin would reach out and pull Obi-Wan’s hands into his own, pressing his thumbs against the pulse points on Kenobi’s wrists. Using the Force, he would gently guide Obi-Wan back to consciousness.

  


* * *

  


Every morning Obi-Wan made his way down to the practice hall and worked through his katas. He tried to arrive as early as possible, hoping to spend most of his time alone. He felt grateful that in spite of all his turmoil and confusion, his lightsaber still felt natural in his hands; it made him feel powerful and controlled.

Anakin had returned his weapon to him the day after he was released from the healers. Obi-Wan feared his lightsaber had been lost forever, taken by Maul along with everything else, but Skywalker explained that Cody found it on the floor of the Sundari prison cell and had quickly scooped it up as they carried Obi-Wan to safety. Anakin had placed the weapon gently into Kenobi’s palm; holding it made Obi-Wan feel more like himself, like he had been reunited with a piece of his soul. He reverently inspected the familiar hunk of metal. Dried blood was crusted on the hilt and the emitter. _Obviously that’s mine._ He remembered how Maul had used the blue blade to burn and cut him over and over. Kenobi expended a considerable amount of energy cleaning off the red stains.

On his first day of training Obi-Wan was nervous, so he decided to start with something simple. The initial kata he performed was an introductory Soresu pattern; he went slowly, just to test the waters and to see how his battered body would respond. His technique was graceful as ever, fully controlled and extremely fluid. Kenobi had a reputation for precision and ease, and he was pleased to find he could still hold a form nearly indefinitely. His muscles were tighter than usual, not surprising considering their recent abuse, but they loosened with each new kata he tried.

However, as the days passed and he grew hungrier and more lightheaded, he began to feel tired and less disciplined, especially regarding his Council-enforced restrictions. Obi-Wan actively forbid himself from letting his lightsaber skills suffer as a result of his lethargy. Consequently, he became obsessive during his practices, holding himself to an almost impossible standard, exhibiting unparalleled control and truly beautiful technique. The slow repetition made his muscles stronger than ever, while his lack of nutrition kept his limbs sinewy rather than bulky. The self-control required to perform at such a proficient level, coupled with his low caloric intake, was physically taxing and Obi-Wan would often be terribly exhausted after a session. He hid it well from his fellow Jedi, but later in the afternoon he would have trouble staying awake. Anakin was a good sport, gently nudging him whenever he dozed off, saving Obi-Wan from embarrassment, but Kenobi began to wonder how long he could carry on this exhausting charade.

He felt tension building in his energy like a coiled spring, as though it would need a release soon or he feared he would explode. He desperately wanted to spar with Anakin, but Yoda had expressly opposed it. Obi-Wan had to content himself with solitary practice patterns – occasionally Anakin would join him but Skywalker rarely had the patience for methodic katas.

The Council would not let him eat enough, nor would they allow him to fight. How could he ever achieve balance if all he felt was constricted? These frustrations began to manifest as anger. Every time he watched Anakin spar with their fellow Jedi, Obi-Wan felt sickeningly jealous.

_They don’t trust you anymore._

Kenobi had grown used to the cackling, ice-cold voice in his mind.

_You gave everything to this temple, to the Jedi, and now they treat you like a criminal._

He had stopped arguing with it long ago.

_If only they would let you off your leash, they would see how powerful you’ve become._

Obi-Wan did not know how it was possible to feel so strong and so weak at the same time. How could he physically be so certain, so confident, but mentally be a tumultuous wreck?

In a sudden moment of clarity he was able to silence the voice inside his brain as he realized he absolutely _should not_ be sparring if he was so unbalanced. Anyone he fought would be at risk; he knew for certain that his pent up energy would leave someone injured, and, worst of all, he feared he might enjoy it.

  


* * *

  


On several occasions, Anakin found Obi-Wan sleeping in strange places around the temple. It was fairly obvious that his master was not sleeping at night, but he was still surprised to find Kenobi unconscious on a bench in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, in the library surrounded by scattered datapads, and even once on the inner courtyard steps under the bowing branches of the ancient Jedi tree. Kenobi always tried to laugh it off as an unfortunate side effect of Yoda’s strictures, but Anakin saw through the façade. Obi-Wan was starving, exhausted, and troubled. He was confined to the temple, he was haunted by awful memories, and he refused to confide in anyone. Anakin began to truly fear for his master’s well being.

There were times he could forget Obi-Wan was trying to recover from a horrendous ordeal, times were Kenobi would crack a joke or say something biting that only the two of them would understand and find funny. But just as often he would see things that unnerved him, moments where Kenobi’s temper got the better of him or where he would catch Obi-Wan staring listlessly out the window for long periods of time.

Anakin started to doubt the Council, wondering if they really had Kenobi’s best interest at heart. Obi-Wan was obviously languishing; anyone close to him could see that. He wondered if Yoda was aware of how bored and irascible Obi-Wan had become over the last week. Every evening Skywalker escorted Kenobi to Yoda’s chamber and waited outside while the two masters talked and meditated together. Obi-Wan always looked shaken and bone-weary when he emerged, but he would never tell Anakin what was discussed. Skywalker feared Yoda was ignoring the truth, that the Council was more interested in punishing Obi-Wan for breaking the Code rather than helping him heal. He worried this continued alienation would unintentionally push Kenobi to the Dark Side.

Considering how little they had discovered about Obi-Wan’s altered Force signature, and considering Yoda’s stringent requirements, Anakin believed the Council’s course of action actually left the Jedi more vulnerable than if they had developed a socially inclusive healing plan for Kenobi. If Anakin were in Obi-Wan’s shoes, he would feel betrayed by the Order. Skywalker thought the Council should tread more carefully. He believed Obi-Wan needed kindness more than he needed structure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan has a particularly unpleasant session with Yoda, which leads him into some dangerous territory. Something changes inside our handsome Jedi. And Anakin learns the hard way not to sneak up on Kenobi.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	7. The Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Yoda tap into some old nightmares. The voice in Kenobi's head does something new. And Anakin has a run-in with his master that leaves him even more worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if anyone has been enjoying this story so far. It doesn't really seem like it. The general feedback I'm getting is that I'm being too hard on Obi-Wan. _*shrugs shoulders*_ Oh well, the story is written and I'm not going to change it. I'm just going to power through, get it posted, and then be done with it.
> 
> I still appreciate anyone taking the time to read :)
> 
> If you're interested in seeing a story that is mildly connected to this chapter, [_Jedi Nightmares_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11469942) is a short piece I wrote about Obi-Wan trying to deal with Qui-Gon's death. The vision from this chapter is the nightmare in _Jedi Nightmares_.

Obi-Wan was standing on a ragged precipice, wind whipping around him as he stared out into a black abyss. He was screaming, screaming like he never had before. Terror, Panic, Grief, Desperation, Anger ripped him to pieces, pressed in, crushing him, squeezing him from every direction before pulling him wildly this way and that. He fell to his knees, clutching the cliff’s brittle edge as he screamed over the side into the darkness. “Master!”

He thought he would die. He wanted to die. He was alone. Qui-Gon was gone. There was an empty hole inside his heart that his master used to fill. Now there was nothing, there was only this black void.

“No! No! No!” The Forces thrashed at him more violently, pressing his body flat against the ground, pushing him closer and closer to the sheer drop. “Please, gods, no!” They spread his limbs until he was prostrate, Terror holding him down, Grief smothering him. They were moving too fast, anticipating his every defense, preventing him from calling for help. They pulled his head back and he suddenly realized they were going to force themselves down his throat…

  


…“Obi-Wan! Open your eyes!”

Kenobi wrenched his eyes open. They were wet with tears. He blinked, trying to focus in the dark room.

Yoda sat directly across from him. The Grand Master looked troubled. “A dark place you went.”

Obi-Wan, still fighting to get his emotions under control, did not answer.

“This memory, new it is not?”

Kenobi wiped his eyes. “No,” he croaked. The panic and fear, the desperation and anger had felt real. “I’m sorry, Master,” he whispered as he was once again overcome with emotion.

Yoda waited patiently until Obi-Wan eventually settled down. The young man clenched his teeth tightly together and tried to hide his trembling hands. “It’s not a memory,” he finally managed to say.

“A manifestation of your emotions it is.”

“Yes. But… it isn’t current.”

“Understand I do,” Yoda said gently. “When Qui-Gon died, devastated you were.”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan barely contained his grief as he blinked away burning tears.

“Disturbing this manifestation is, Obi-Wan. Never did I realize how much you suffered.”

“I had to care for Anakin, he was my responsibility, so I did what I had to; I put the past behind me and I moved on. But it was a long time before I could release my feelings into the Force.”

Yoda grunted, his eyes shifting slightly as he considered Kenobi’s words. Finally he spoke, “The fact that you stumbled upon these feelings now proves you never truly reconciled them. Found these by accident, you did. Old they may be, but the pain is still fresh in your heart. Clearly you have not made peace with your master’s death.”

Obi-Wan quickly became defensive. No one knew his mind better than he did. “I _have_ made peace. I had no other choice. Qui-Gon died, leaving me with many unanswered questions, leaving me with a pile of doubt, not to mention a new pupil. I came to a point where, for Anakin’s sake, I simply had to move on whether I was reconciled or not.”

“You are not the first Padawan to lose your master.”

Anger flared in Kenobi but he quickly repressed it and tried to speak calmly. “I know I am nothing special, Master. I know I am not the first to suffer, nor the last. I know I struggle with attachment. I know I struggle with anger. I _know_ my weaknesses.” He ran a shaking hand over his face, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Must we carry on with these sessions? All they do is dredge up old misery.”

“If you have _old_ fears that are this volatile, worry I do about your new traumas. How will you manifest Maul’s torture? How will you manifest Satine’s death?”

Obi-Wan’s brow lifted as his eyes widened in desperation. He looked heartbroken. “I just want to move on, Master. I can’t keep facing this pain. Please. I need to rest.”

“Ready you are not. Face your fears properly you have not. Address your anger you _have not_.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to do that?” Kenobi suddenly shouted. “By starving myself? By letting my aggressive feelings consume me every time I meditate?” His eyes narrowed. “If I address my anger properly, Master, you may not approve of my methods.”

The cool, razor sharp voice instantly seethed through Obi-Wan’s mind. _Not yet, my boy. Calm yourself._

Yoda’s eyes became round and piercing as he warily watched the Jedi across from him. Had Obi-Wan just threatened violence? The young man had never done such a thing.

 _The old Jedi knows_ , the voice warned. _Tread carefully, Obi-Wan._

The Grand Master felt fear creep through him like ice as Kenobi’s face twitched angrily then returned to its carefully constructed controlled appearance.

“Forgive me, Master.” Obi-Wan said evenly. “I’m very tired. Please excuse my temper.”

Yoda hesitated. He wanted to look into Kenobi’s mind, wanted to root out the source of the young man’s darkness. He suspected there was something more devious behind Obi-Wan’s change in personality, something perhaps the young man was not even aware left him vulnerable to his darker emotions. But if Yoda forced Kenobi before he was ready, he might lose Obi-Wan’s trust forever. The Grand Master knew he had to wait, that Obi-Wan must ask for help, that his heart must be ready for intervention. Yoda worried that Kenobi’s natural power and resilience would lead the man to wait until it was too late for Yoda to intercede, but it was a risk the Grand Master had to take.

  


* * *

  


Later that evening Obi-Wan sat with Anakin in the mess hall during their evening meal, and, as usual, Kenobi was already finished while Skywalker still had a mountain of food to work through. Obi-Wan had not spoken all evening; he truly appreciated that Anakin did not constantly pester him nor did he seem to mind long silences. It allowed Kenobi time to think.

He could not stop replaying the exchange he had with Yoda. The Grand Master had led him into a light meditation that quickly spiraled out of control when Kenobi accidently accessed the repressed agony he had experienced after losing Qui-Gon. He had almost forgotten how dark that period in his life had been, how lost he felt. His agony had been all consuming, but he taught himself to ignore his pain and had tried to move forward with his life. In the months following the battle of Theed, Obi-Wan simply pretended he was fine until one day he realized he no longer needed to pretend.

Exhuming these horrible memories unlocked an unstable part of Obi-Wan’s consciousness; he was unprepared for the emotional torrent that left him feeling uneasy and vulnerable. He was noticeably distracted, tapping his teacup with agitated fingers while his unblinking eyes stared down into his empty plate. He looked up at Anakin who was shoving a large bite of something purple and delicious into his mouth. The young man gave Obi-Wan an apologetic shrug, but Kenobi just shook his head dismissively, indicating that Anakin had nothing to feel sorry about. Obi-Wan turned and looked across the long empty room; not many Jedi took their meals this late in the evening. He rubbed a hand over his aching scar; the ghastly slash etched over his eye from brow to cheek seemed to ache more now than when it was freshly made.

Slowly, Kenobi receded back into his thoughts. Though dredging up old pain had been disturbing, he was far more afraid of the change he perceived in the voice that spoke to him internally.

_Tread carefully, Obi-Wan._

It had spoken directly to him, not just a voice in his head but a communion that explicitly guided his moods and behaviors. At first, the voice seemed to be a manifestation of Obi-Wan’s fears, but as time went on he began to notice it occasionally interfered with his natural consciousness, shifting his familiar compassionate feelings into jealous, angry bitterness. He would catch himself saying rude things to Anakin without understanding why he felt so angry, or he would snap at a youngling before he could stop himself. Obi-Wan felt like his temper was beginning to control him, like his feelings were being led around on a leash. The idea that he could no longer trust his mind frightened him, but even more concerning was the fact that he was not always aware he had lost his temper or said something awful to his friend.

In order to wrangle his emotions, Obi-Wan had started making a conscious effort to track his feelings and pay attention to his flaring temper. As the incidents grew in frequency he began to suspect something far more nefarious than just his own trauma and doubt in the Code. Obi-Wan began to fear that some _thing_ or some _one_ was actually accessing his mind and manipulating him.

Was it just his imagination, or had the voice sounded different tonight? Familiar…

“Are you ready to go?” Anakin said, clapping a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

Startled, Kenobi leapt back from the table knocking over his chair; he grabbed Skywalker’s wrist, twisting the young man’s arm behind his back while simultaneously kicking Anakin’s legs out from under him.

Anakin cried out in pain, his shoulder pulled to within an inch of dislocating as he fell on his face. He was shocked by Obi-Wan’s physical strength, but he was terrified by Kenobi’s Force signature. Freezing rage rattled across their bond as his master pressed him toward the floor. He gasped for air but his chest felt like ice as his lungs became paralyzed by the predatory agitation flowing across their Force bond. The horrid sensation immobilized the younger Jedi, his entire body becoming strained and rigid with pain as Kenobi’s cold power wrapped around him.

“Obi-Wan…” he eventually managed to choke out, “What… are… you…doing!?”

Kenobi’s eyes softened and he suddenly released his friend and stumbled back. “I’m sorry…” he stammered. “You startled me,” he was mortified. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He helped Skywalker to his feet. “Are you alright? Truly, Anakin, I’m so sorry.”

The younger Jedi rubbed his sore arm, gingerly rotating his shoulder to make sure it was not injured. “What the hell’s gotten into you? And what the hell were you doing with the Force? That felt horrible!”

Obi-Wan looked confused. “With the Force?”

“Where did you learn to do that?”

“I don’t understand. What did I do?”

Anakin could not believe his ears. He was about to speak when a strange look came over Obi-Wan. Kenobi stumbled back, his eye becoming wide and empty as he gave a raspy gasp.

 _Good!_ the voice sounded gleeful in Obi-Wan’s head. _Good! Your anger has made you powerful._

Obi-Wan began trembling, his eyelids fluttering erratically, his hands shaking, his breathing constrained, as the creature inside him began to rear its ugly head.

_Your time is drawing near, Obi-Wan. Soon you will seek me out._

“No… No…” Kenobi almost fell over as he scrambled away. Anakin caught him as he lost his footing.

“Master? What’s happening?”

Obi-Wan looked into his Padawan’s eyes as the darkness inside him retreated. “I…” Carrying this fearful burden was beginning to wear him down but he could not bring himself to confess everything to Anakin. “I’m fine.” He pushed himself up, regaining his balance. “I’m sorry. I think I’ll head back to my quarters and rest.”

Anakin was not convinced. “Tell me what’s going on, Obi-Wan,” he demanded.

“It’s nothing, Anakin. I’m just a little tired. And hungry,” he quickly added to throw his friend off his trail. “I’m starving and it’s making it difficult to control my temper.”

Anakin looked irritated. “Why don’t you just eat something then?”

“Look, I know I’ve been miserable company, and you have every right to be frustrated with me…”

“I’m not frustrated with _you_ , I’m frustrated with the Council. This regimen they’re forcing you to follow is clearly not helping.”

Anakin instantly regretted his words when he saw the despairing look on his master’s face.

Obi-Wan felt heartbroken. After suffering through these infuriating restrictions, after all his soul searching and turmoil, after walking through his nightmares day after day, he did not feel like a Jedi. He felt like a monster. Anakin was right; nothing was helping. He was not fooling anyone, least of all himself.

Skywalker wanted to help Obi-Wan, wanted to comfort him and help carry his burdens, but Kenobi kept pushing him away. He decided to try reaching out to his master one more time. “Why won’t you tell me what’s happening to you?” he asked gently.

Kenobi suddenly felt calm; admitting the truth would be freeing. He arched an eyebrow and gave a resigned half smirk. “There’s not much to tell. I’m on a slippery slope, my friend. And I fear I’m losing my grip.”

The admission filled Anakin’s heart with unbearable sadness. “There has to be something we can do. Forget the Council and their stupid restrictions. You and I can find our own way.”

The suggestion touched Obi-Wan. But if things were going to play out as Kenobi suspected, he had no wish to drag his Padawan down with him. “Thank you, Anakin, but I think for now I’m going to get some sleep. I have one more meditation to complete today. I’d best get to it.”

Anakin felt helpless as he watched his master walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Jedi mind tricks and and grumpy Council members.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	8. Forbidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan does something that might be considered disgraceful, especially for a Jedi. Anakin receives unpleasant instructions from the Council.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to everyone who sent me encouraging messages. It really touched my heart. It can be intimidating to create something (especially something that is dear to you) and put it out in the world. All your feedback is inspiring.
> 
> From here on out, things are going to start getting weird (and I LOVE it). Mwahahaha!!! Hope you enjoy.

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

Instead of returning to his rooms as he said, Obi-Wan made his way to the temple library. He had spent many hours there since Doctor Neema approved his medical release, pouring over datapads, sifting through ancient texts, searching for any scrap of information that might help him better understand the darkness he felt coursing through his mind. Hardly any of what he read was actually useful, and there was little that he did not already know.

But tonight things had changed; he finally knew the text he needed, and he knew what he would have to do to get it.

Holocrons contained unparalleled knowledge, storing some of the Jedi’s greatest and most sacred secrets. Most of these repositories documented priceless teachings, deciphering the ways of the Force and outlining the path to goodness. However, unbeknownst to many Jedi, there were several holocrons that even Council members were forbidden from accessing, holocrons containing Sith teachings. These proscribed texts were only accessible to the Grand Master and required considerable power to open. Kenobi knew the exact forbidden holocron he needed to retrieve, but his first challenge would be getting into the library vault.

Having a purpose and a goal gave Obi-Wan a renewed sense of clarity as he made his way through the dusky corridors. When the fiend in his head addressed him by name it had inadvertently given Obi-Wan a clue; he was thrilled and horrified by his suspicions, but he hoped that by putting a name to his changing Force signature, he would be able to conquer the darkness that consumed him. He employed considerable self-control, forcing himself to walk at a respectable pace rather than dash through the halls like a youngling.

As he entered the quiet library, the soaring shelves towering above, Madam Jocasta Nu came forward to greet him.

“Good evening, Master Kenobi.”

He bowed respectfully. “Good evening Madam Jocasta.”

“What brings you here so late in the day?”

He knew his plan would only work if he proceeded with confidence; there was no room to second-guess or hesitate. He smiled and looked directly into her eyes. “I need to access a holocron, please.”

Jocasta tilted her head to the side and spoke as though he were a mischievous child. “We’ve been over this many times, Master Kenobi. While you are on restricted duty, I cannot allow you to access the Holocron Vault. Until you are reinstated to the Council, I must ask that you please remain in the general library stacks and study areas.”

He hated what he did next, but he _had_ to know what was happening to him. Not for the first time in his life, Obi-Wan told himself that the ends would justify the means. Keeping eye contact, he reached out through the Force, wrapping Madam Jocasta’s consciousness in his power. He was gentle but unrelenting. “Please,” he said evenly, “You _will_ allow me to access the Holocron Vault.”

Her eyes had grown wide and questioning, indicating that she was slightly aware of Obi-Wan’s manipulation. He saw a flicker of disbelief pass over her before she succumbed to his control. “I will allow you to access the Holocron Vault,” she said in a monotone, dazed voice.

“Thank you, Madam.” With a slow hand motion he used the Force to turn her around. “Please lead the way.” He had never mind tricked a Jedi before; in fact, many considered it impossible – a tool used only on the weak-minded. Obi-Wan found it a simple thing to compel others to do his bidding; gently nudging a creature to comply with his wishes had always come easily to him, but even as a boy he thought it a dubious practice and never used it unless he felt it was absolutely necessary. He hated to manipulate anyone, whether they were a Jedi or not, but tricking Jocasta Nu felt particularly nefarious, like he had crossed a line from which he could never step back. He had officially broken the Code for his own gains.

_Oh, come now_ , he thought. _You’ve broken it many times in the past. What makes Jocasta Nu so special?_

He was shocked by his own bitterness. _What is wrong with you, Kenobi!?_ he castigated himself.

When they arrived at the massive circular door that sealed the vault, Obi-Wan turned to the older woman and, giving her consciousness a benign pull, said, “You will return to your quarters and remain there for the rest of the night.”

Her eyes blinked slowly, and for a moment it looked as though she was going to try mentally pushing back. Obi-Wan sent a calming wave through the Force. “Goodnight, Madame.”

“Goodnight,” she said dully. “I will return to my quarters and remain there for the rest of the night.” She turned and slowly walked down the library’s main aisle and out the massive arched door.

Obi-Wan turned to the vault, his brow tight with concentration. He reached a hand out to the lock on the wall and used the Force to spin it in the required sequence. With an air whoosh and a pressure change, the door spun open revealing the antechamber. Obi-Wan made his way to the inner vault door where he once again manipulated the lock. The massive durasteel iris rotated open and he stepped into the hushed interior chamber.

Hundreds of holocrons lined the walls, their eerie blue glow reflecting off the metal surfaces, casting strange dim shadows across the floor. The room radiated with an unseen energy as years of knowledge and power pulsed through each pristine cube. Obi-Wan knew the holocron he needed was tucked in a dark corner of the vault, nestled among a row close to the floor. Anyone wanting to access these artifacts had to know exactly where they were located; the forbidden holocrons were scattered among the general collection and looked no different than the sanctioned ones.

Obi-Wan knelt down and barely had a chance to reach out for the luminous cube before it popped out of the wall and flew into his palm, like it had been waiting for him, like it knew he was near. It glowed brighter, sending an energized tingle up his arm. For days he had suspected that things were going terribly wrong inside him, that he was slipping closer and closer to the Dark Side, and that this particular holocron might hold the key to understanding it all. But now that he had the tiny box in his hands, he was not sure he was ready to open it and face the truth. He slipped the repository into his tunic and headed back to his quarters.

  


* * *

  


Anakin stood before the Council, his hands tucked behind his back. He was tired of feeling helpless, and after his disturbing encounter with Obi-Wan at their evening meal, he had decided to appeal to Yoda for a reprieve. He would not tell the Council about Kenobi’s outburst, nor about his master’s admission that he was losing his grip; Anakin feared that revealing this would only give the Jedi another stick to beat Obi-Wan with.

“You have already given today’s report, Skywalker,” Mace Windu said, his fingers steepled together in front of his mouth. “Why have you returned?”

Anakin bowed formally. “Masters, I have come here to ask for leniency on Obi-Wan’s behalf.”

Several members exchanged surprised looks.

“What do you mean?” Windu asked.

“I have tried to ignore my concerns, but I can no longer do so. I spend everyday with Master Kenobi, nearly every waking minute. I must tell you that your prescribed regimen is far too strict. Obi-Wan is suffering. He is _not_ recovering.”

“Since when were you in a position to instruct the Council?”

Anakin was shocked by Windu’s reprimand. He stood silently for a moment, frustration plain on his face. “I meant no disrespect, Master. I am simply trying to make it clear that Master Kenobi has been following your restrictions for nearly two weeks and he is not getting healthier.”

“What proof do you have of this?” Yoda asked. “Why have your daily reports not reflected your concern?”

Anakin measured his words carefully as he spoke directly to the ancient Jedi. “Master Yoda, you meet with him every evening, you know how he struggles, especially during his meditations. Please, all I ask is that you lift _some_ of your restrictions. At least allow him to eat whatever he wants.”

“Each restriction serves a purpose, young Skywalker.” Yoda said firmly. “The routine has not yet had time to take its full effect.”

“These constraints are destroying him!” Anakin’s temper flared. “They seem more like a punishment than a source of healing.”

Windu did not like Skywalker’s tone. “Remember your place, young man.”

The comment only further provoked Anakin. “You’re treating Obi-Wan like a prisoner. You won’t let him leave the temple, you won’t let him eat, you won’t let him listen to reports about the war or his men. He’s losing his mind! He’s bored to death. He spends his days walking around with demons in his head. Do you really think forcing him to constantly meditate on the things that ruined his life is healthy?”

Yoda finally raised a hand to silence Skywalker. “Enough. Your concerns will be noted.” He pressed the souls of his feet together. “Strong your bond is with Master Kenobi. Insightful it can be, but dangerous it is.”

Several Council members nodded in agreement. Anakin felt a pang of concern as Yoda leaned forward.

“Sever your bond with Obi-Wan you must,” the Grand Master said.

Blood rushed from Anakin’s head and he feared he would faint. He had always lived in dread that the Council would force him to break his bond with his master.

“Too attached you have become. No longer are you Master and Padawan.” Yoda pointed a claw at Skywalker. “Another weakness for Kenobi you are. Used against him you could be.”

Anakin fought to keep his breathing under control. The conversation had taken an unexpected turn. “This is the wrong time for me to withdraw from Obi-Wan. He needs support now more than ever. And how am I supposed to carry on with my observations without my Force connection to help me interpret his behavior?”

“When the regimen has run its course, turn to _me_ for help Obi-Wan will. When that happens, your observations will no longer be needed and sever your bond you will.”

The conflict in Anakin’s heart was greater than it had ever been before. Every time the Council made a request of him, he became more and more doubtful. He was confused about his duty and afraid for his friend. The Council seemed to have a hidden agenda; they were anticipating a change in Kenobi’s behavior, but they were keeping Anakin on the outside, using him more like a spy than a resource. Anakin began to suspect Yoda’s restrictions were designed to break Obi-Wan rather than heal him; they seemed to be intentionally provoking a disturbance that could potentially destroy his master. Skywalker feared he was helping lay a trap that would bring everything to a head whether Obi-Wan was prepared for it or not.

Anakin still believed there had to be another way to help his master. Letting Kenobi stew in his misery until he exploded was not going to do anything but ruin his best friend. He felt that the Council was strongly misguided; as he finally admitted this to himself, he decided he would no longer do as they asked.

When he spoke he was surprised by his own calm. “Not a single member of this Council has ever faced the suffering and pain that Obi-Wan has faced. Time and again his heart has been devastated, and still he moves forward with grace, with compassion for others, and with devotion to the Jedi – a devotion that you certainly do not deserve.” He looked around the room. “ _You_ are not worthy of Obi-Wan. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. The methods you’re using are wrong; they’re deceitful. Your restrictions are destroying him. Mark my words, you are turning a powerful Jedi to the Dark Side and you will have only yourselves to blame.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? The forbidden holocron gives Kenobi the shock of a lifetime.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	9. The Prophetess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan opens the forbidden holocron and discovers the shock of a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends! Your response to chapter 8 was so fun to read. Thank you for all the awesome comments, both here and on [Tumblr](https://mostthingskenobi.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> OK, things are going to get a little weird in this chapter. Remember how I said I love mythology?? This chapter is definitely a myth builder. Just stick with me and we'll get through this together ;)

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

Obi-Wan was sitting on the floor in the middle of his living chamber. The hour was very late and his quarters were dark and quiet. The holocron sat across from him in the middle of a small table, its eerie blue glow gently spilling into the darkness. He had not yet worked up the courage to open the forbidden box; he stared at it for the better part of an hour, methodically stroking his beard, his brow knit in concentration.

It was not too late; he could sneak back into the library and return the holocron before anyone noticed it was missing.

But what if it contained the answers he was seeking?

_Even if it does_ , he thought, _the knowledge is forbidden._

Surely the holocron would reveal teachings he should not be exposed to.

But if that were true, then why had it seemed like the holocron knew him, like it had been expecting him?

“You should be ashamed of yourself, Obi-Wan.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin with surprise as Satine effortlessly knelt by his side. Her spirit had first appeared to him while he lay in agony in the medical ward; she had comforted him while he worked to master his pain. She had not spoken to him since his release, though she constantly hovered around his mind’s edges.

“I did what I had to do,” he said quietly.

“You tricked that poor old woman.”

“Madam Jocasta is by no means helpless, Satine. She’s a Jedi.”

“She was helpless against _your_ influence.”

“It wasn’t done to be cruel. I would never hurt her.”

“Intension is paramount, Obi. You did it for self-gain.”

Anger flared in him as he finally turned to look at her. “How can you call _this_ self-gain? I’m not trying to unravel the mysteries of the universe; I’m trying to learn what’s happening to me. You have no idea what it’s costing me, the fear I’ve been trying to master, the toll it’s taking.”

“Does it feel like everything you’ve worked for is falling to pieces? Like all the sacrifices you’ve made over the years have amounted to nothing? Like all the progress you’ve fought for has been undone by a few cruel, selfish beings?”

Obi-Wan snapped his jaw shut, biting back his anger as he remembered Satine’s final months. Death Watch and Maul had ruined everything she created, manipulated and destroyed her world through careful, calculated action.

“Yes, you’re right. I could never know how you feel, Obi-Wan.”

He looked down at his hands, ashamed of himself. “I’m sorry, my love,” he whispered.

Silence hung between them for a moment before she spoke. Gesturing to the holocron she said, “Are you sure this is the best way? Can you not seek help elsewhere? Why don’t you go to Yoda for guidance?”

Obi-Wan snorted. “Yoda will not help me. No, I want to do this myself.”

“And what if this holocron contains knowledge that will alter you forever?”

“I am already altered. I can feel inside me that something horrible is taking over, and nothing I do will silence it. This holocron can show me the way; it can help me understand what’s happening. Armed with the proper knowledge, I can begin to undo the damage that has been inflicted.”

“What makes you so certain?”

He thought for a moment but he could not come up with an answer. “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling, a sense.”

“I hope you’re right,” she said as she stood. “If you’re wrong, it may be a costly mistake.”

“I know I’m right,” he said firmly.

Suddenly her arms slid around him from behind, her hands clutching his chest, her chin resting on his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his cheek against hers, savoring the warmth that ran through him. “Good luck, my love,” she whispered in his ear. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

When he opened his eyes she was gone.

The remaining pang in his heart filled him with sadness. How desperately he missed her.

He looked across the room at the solitary holocron, glowing faintly in the darkness. Now was the time.

Obi-Wan got to his knees and sat back on his heels. Then, using the Force, he reached out for the little box, levitating it slowly toward him, stopping when it hovered just above his open hands. Keeping it suspended in front of him, he closed his eyes and began to concentrate, letting his mind reach across to it. The energy the holocron emitted was incredible for something so small; it pulsed and crested, making him almost sick with its intensity. Obi-Wan let his own Force wrap around the holocron until he could not tell where he ended and it began. He could sense there was something strong at its core; he brushed against this power and the box suddenly opened, its paneled sides sliding back to release the Force that dwelled within.

The energy burst forth like a great blast of air, throwing Obi-Wan backward several feet as the holocron tumbled back onto the table. Waves of the Force spilled out into the darkness, filling every corner of the room with an oppressive, crushing presence.

A horrible gasp rose out of the glowing cube, like a living creature had just been shocked out of hibernation. Obi-Wan felt a surge in the Force, felt the life form writhing from across the room. He inadvertently backed away, afraid of what he had awakened.

The holocron began to shake, violently bouncing around on the tabletop. A blinding purple light shot out of the box’s six sides, followed by a harrowing scream. Obi-Wan shielded his eyes; as he stepped back he tripped and fell, hitting his head against the wall. He tucked his knees up, covering his face with his arms as sickening waves of energy swept over him.

In an instant, like a flame being snuffed out, the purple light disappeared and the earsplitting scream was silenced. Obi-Wan slowly opened his eyes and peaked out from behind his arms. What he saw shocked him so completely that he reached for his lightsaber before he could stop himself.

“Peace!” shouted the ghostly creature that floated before him like lavender smoke.

Kenobi obeyed her, freezing in his tracks with his lightsaber raised, ready to strike.

She was beautiful yet fierce, her eyes sharp and piercing. Her body was not fully formed, its figure hovering just over the holocron, a translucent purple haze outlined in sharp relief.

Obi-Wan could not believe his eyes. He watched as she looked down at herself in wonder, holding out her hands, turning them over as though she had never seen them before. Her chest heaved as she held back a sob.

“Freedom,” she finally whispered. She looked up at Obi-Wan. “You have given me freedom.” She saw his lightsaber still raised, glowing in the dark. “Put away your weapon, Master Jedi. There is no need for violence.”

He felt almost hypnotized by her beauty and her deep, rich voice. He lowered his lightsaber. “What are you?”

She arched a brow. “That’s a rather rude way of putting it. I’m a woman, obviously. No doubt you have seen one before.”

Taking in her ghostly form he said, “You’re like no woman I’ve ever seen.”

She beckoned him closer. “I have been waiting for you, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

His eyes grew wide. “How do you know who I am?”

“I recognize your Force signature. I was told long ago that you and I would meet.”

He stepped toward her. “Are you a memory?”

Her eyes grew sad as she beckoned him closer still. “I am a sentient being, a consciousness imprisoned by a cruel master.”

“A consciousness? That is impossible.”

“Why do you say so?”

“How can a consciousness be preserved without a body?”

“I have a body,” she said lightly, gesturing with a smile to her smoky lower half. “I did not create the mysteries of the universe, Obi-Wan, therefore I cannot tell you _why_ the Force allows preservation of consciousness.”

“Are you a Jedi?” Obi-Wan asked warily. Even though she was eerily lovely he did not completely trust her.

“I was once, centuries ago, before my master trapped me inside this terrible box.”

“Why would a Jedi imprison a sentient being in such a cruel fashion?”

“Why indeed?” she said archly.

“That wasn’t a rhetorical question,” Obi-Wan retorted.

She smiled at his impertinence. “What does your heart tell you?”

“That you must have done something terrible to deserve your fate.”

“What a narrow way of thinking.”

“A Jedi would never do something so heartless unless you were a threat.” His pulse skipped a beat as a thought occurred to him. “Or a Sith.”

She shook her head, smoke spilling across her undulating edges and floating over her face. “Not all Jedi are so noble as you presume. Do I look like a Sith to you?”

“You are stored in a forbidden holocron.”

“I am not _stored_ , you fool.” Her voice seethed with sudden anger and ice. “I am held against my will.” She took a deep breath, barely regaining her control before speaking again. “My master was very wise. He knew that if he wanted to stuff something away for hundreds of years where it would never be discovered, a forbidden holocron was the perfect hiding place.”

“But why would he do it?”

She smiled mirthlessly. “Because I carry what the Jedi call _forbidden knowledge._ "

Obi-Wan became very still. “What kind of knowledge?”

She tilted her head, her piercing gaze evaluating his worthiness. “I have learned to preserve my consciousness after death.”

“But that’s impossible,” he said firmly.

“Yet here I stand before you.”

“Life after death is not possible.”

“You believe that your corporeal self will join the Force when you die?”

“Yes.”

“This is no different. You simply maintain your identity. If you are pure of heart, the Force will preserve your form and allow you to retain your consciousness. There is no dark magic involved. It is a great mystery that not every Force wielder will understand. Only a chosen few are allowed access to this knowledge. For example, when my master learned of my studies he accused me of blasphemy and had me banished from the Jedi. His mind and heart were not ready to see the truth.”

“How did you end up in a holocron then?”

“When I was young I studied in the Jedi temple. I had many questions but my master would never answer them. After he banished me I went in search of knowledge, learning from anyone willing to teach me. I studied with Jedi, priestesses, and Sith. I learned to face my inner demons and to commune with the Force in a way the Jedi could hardly begin to understand. My master tracked me over the years, sent spies and villains after me. One day he offered to meet, said he wanted to reconcile, said he had acted rashly and wanted to make amends. When I arrive he murdered me.”

Obi-Wan was horrified. What Jedi would do such a thing?

“He said what I had learned was too dangerous, that I had to be prevented from teaching others what I knew. Once he killed my mortal body, he captured my consciousness with a kyber crystal and locked me in this infernal holocron. Only a Jedi of inordinate power will have the ability to fully release me.”

Obi-Wan waved at her misty body. “Are you not free now?”

“Not entirely. You have released me from my cage but my prison is the kyber crystal. If you were to destroy that, I would be free to enter the Force properly.”

“You’ve been trapped in there hundreds of years?”

Her lip curled almost in a snarl. “Yes.”

“But if you’ve been in this holocron for hundreds of years, how can you even know that I exist?”

“It was prophesied centuries ago that you would be among the chosen Jedi, the few who would learn to preserve their living Force after death.”

Obi-Wan was taken aback. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Only a handful of Force sensitive creatures will have the fortitude to perform the transformation. It requires mental aptitude and strength of character that is not commonly found.”

Obi-Wan snorted. “And you think I have this aptitude?”

“The prophecy mentioned you by name, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

He shook his head, his mind reeling. “This is impossible.” His brain was unprepared for this information; he could hardly contain the aversion that reared up inside him. Before he opened the holocron he could never have foreseen this unexpected turn; he thought he would learn secrets about the Sith, not be told he was part of some ancient prophecy.

“Your Jedi training, though impressive, is limited compared to the power of the Force. The Jedi have not allowed you to see the full truth. However, you, Obi-Wan, are the only Jedi currently living who is strong enough to question everything you think you know.”

He turned away, rubbing a hand over his beard, unable to process her words. “I’m in no condition to be questioning anything. I’m…” he was not quite sure how to admit his truth. “I’m afraid I have been compromised.”

Her voice became gentler. “What has happened?”

He thought he would feel ashamed but he suddenly felt ready to accept all her possibilities and confess all his darkest turmoil. “I was taken prisoner by a Sith. Since my release I have not been the same. My thoughts have become angry.”

She listened patiently, nodding as he spoke.

“I hear a voice in my head that isn’t mine. It’s filled with hatred, seething with jealousy and cruelty. Can you help me?”

She looked at him warily. “Step forward, Jedi.”

He did so, standing only inches from her, nervously setting his jaw. He opened his mouth to speak but she silenced him. “Hush, Obi-Wan. Be silent and look into my eyes.” He did as he was told, and as he stared into her floating lavender smoke he felt himself grow ethereal and lightheaded. He was not sure how long he remained under her spell but she suddenly released him and he fell back, catching himself as he landed artlessly on his behind. He stared up at her wondering what she had seen inside him.

She floated down and placed herself across from Obi-Wan. They sat on his floor for many minutes before she finally spoke. “I believe you already suspect what has happened.” He nodded. “ _My_ suspicion is a parasitic infection.” As she spoke her face was emotionless and analytical. “Does that match _your_ suspicion?” She saw his jaw tighten with fear as he nodded his assent. “It is very rare and it requires a particularly powerful Sith.” She could see his entire body tense. “A bond is made, usually against a victim’s will. You can be forcibly turned at any moment. The fact that you have not yet fallen either indicates that you are very strong or your parasite has not yet exerted full control over you.” She took a deep breath before she continued, certain that her next words would upset him. “I’m afraid this is all part of the prophecy, Obi-Wan.”

He looked at her quickly with sharp angry eyes. “What?”

“It was foretold that you would fall to the Dark Side.”

“No,” he almost shouted. “I’ll never turn to the Dark Side.”

“It is how you will question everything you know. You must learn to face your fears, you must learn to embrace your darkness before you can fulfill your destiny as the beacon.”

Obi-Wan snorted. “Beacon of what? Failure? Falling from grace?”

“No, Obi-Wan. _I_ learned how to preserve my Force as a consciousness, as an individual. It was not done to cheat death, it was not done for self-gain. I listened to both Jedi and Sith teachings, being seduced by neither philosophy. As I communed with the living energy of the universe, the Fates revealed to me a chosen few who would learn this skill and carry it honorably. _You_ will teach future generations how to harness the Force and use it to balance the galaxy. You were one of the prophesied, one that the Force hand selected. Now you must learn from the Sith as in the past you learned from the Jedi.”

“But if I’m turned against my will, I will have no control over what I learn. I could be lost forever, trapped as a puppet, a servant of the Dark Side.”

She knew her next words would be awful for him, but he must face the truth. “You must not be turned against your will.”

His face fell. He stared blindly for many minutes before he finally spoke. “You’re saying I must choose it. I must turn before I am forced.”

“Yes.”

How could he ever do such a thing to himself, to his training, to Qui-Gon’s legacy? He would be branded a hypocrite. The life he knew would be over.

Obi-Wan rubbed a hand over his brow, overwhelmed. “This doesn’t make any sense. I’m nothing special. Why would the Force do this to me?”

“You’re wrong, Obi-Wan. _You_ are a chosen one, the vergence of light.”

“I’m not the chosen one,” he argued. “My master found the chosen one years ago. My Padawan is the chosen one.”

“And from the very moment you met Anakin Skywalker was not your life plagued by constant heartbreak?”

He could not deny it, but he had never truly attributed his misfortunes to his Padawan.

“Anakin Skywalker is a dark vergence. You are the light, the very embodiment of goodness.”

Obi-Wan shook his head disbelievingly. “I’m not a vergence. I had a mother. I had a father.”

“So you did,” she said kindly. “Excellent people. You descend from a lineage that understands duty, honor, and empathy. Not all vergences are immaculately conceived. The Force chose your parents very carefully. By your nature you are unique. But your ancestry is not all that separates you from your fellow Jedi. You were born under the asterism that contains the ‘Stars of the Servant,’ the hero chosen by the gods as a slave. This is a very rare sign and you are the only being in the history of the galaxy to be born under this alignment.”

Obi-Wan’s mouth hung open in shock. He barely managed to speak. “But those are just old wives tales.”

“Only for those that do not understand them. When planetary bodies align, energy can be conducted through them like a conduit. You and Anakin Skywalker were born under parallel alignments. He is the dark; you are the light. When your bloodlines converge, the vergence will be complete and balance will come to the galaxy.”

“How on earth could our bloodlines converge? Are we related to each other?”

She smiled gently. “No, my dear. Both you and Skywalker will produce offspring. When your children meet, they will form an unbreakable union…”

“Our children? That is impossible.”

“You say the word ‘impossible’ a lot, Obi-Wan. The Jedi Code has taught you to limit what you will believe in; it has limited your mind in ways you do not yet understand. You must learn to see that _anything_ is possible.”

“But Satine, she’s already dead.”

“Satine Kryze will not bear the child of which I speak. You already have a son born by the Duchess of Mandalore, Obi-Wan. He is a miraculous, kind, strong young man, but you must never know him. Even if you come face to face with him, you will recognize him instantly, but you must not acknowledge him. If the Sith knew you had a son he would be in great danger.”

He was completely flabbergasted but before he could speak she powered on.

“The woman who will bear your child is not yet known to you. She will find you in an unexpected place and time, many years from now, a time when you are most in need. She will bear you a daughter and that daughter will bring balance to the galaxy with Skywalker’s son.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes were wide, his mind reeling. He could not speak for many minutes. Finally he asked, “Why would the Force choose _me_?”

“Because what you see in yourself as imperfections, the Force sees as desirable. You show deep feeling and fierce loyalty, but your stubborn, fanatical attachment to the Jedi must be broken. You are compassionate, empathetic, strong, and just. I know this leaves your heart open to pain, but through these traits you selflessly serve others. You do not lie, you do not solicit praise, nor are you self-aggrandizing. The Force does not seek perfection, it seeks good intention, and you have that in excess.”

“How can any of what you say still be true, especially if there is something dark growing in me, something I might not be able contain?”

“You _will_ become a Sith, Obi-Wan. It is inevitable”

Hearing it said so blatantly shocked him. “I will fall?”

“Your power is coveted by the Dark Lord. You must turn before he takes you for his own against your will.”

“Then how in heaven can I possibly still be considered a vergence of light?”

She rolled her eyes, annoyed. “Have you heard nothing of what I said? You must understand darkness in order to truly be in the light. Being good does not mean being naïve. It means you have seen the darkest possibilities, the most shocking horrors, unfathomable corruption, yet still choose kindness, dignity, and justice. _You_ are the only Jedi strong enough to endure both light and dark. When you are finished, you will be neither Jedi nor Sith. You will be something altogether brighter."

The idea was frightening and thrilling.

“The greatest lessons are the most painful. You will come away a changed man.”

“I’m already a changed man.” A thought suddenly occurred to him. “But what about Anakin? He’s not a dark vergence. He’s a good person.”

“To live in the dark is a simply task; one need only be impatient, bitter, and selfish. Skywalker is naturally all these things. Being your Padawan is the only force that kept his temper in check. Your burden is far heavier. To truly be a bearer of light, one must fully experience the darkness, pity it, and then forgive it. Those that carry love in a dark world truly know pain. Anakin will fall, and when he does it will be spectacular.”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak but he was stopped short by a knock on his front door. Fear was plain on his face as he looked between the floating apparition and his entryway. Who on earth would come to his quarters at this hour? And if they saw the holocron he would be in considerable trouble. He quickly stepped toward the lavender lady. “Please,” he spoke quickly. “Can you hide?”

She looked bothered by the request. “You want me to go back into my cage?”

He looked at her apologetically. He hated asking her to imprison herself but he could not risk her being seen.

“Very well,” she muttered before instantly disappearing back into the holocron.

There was another knock on the door, this time more urgent. Obi-Wan reached out with the Force and quickly closed the holocron, then he scooped it up and brought it into his sleeping quarters where he hid it under his bed. He closed the bedroom door before hurrying to answer the knock that had escalated into constant pounding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan and Anakin realize they share some of the same doubts.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	10. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan realize they are both struggling with similar doubts. Will Obi-Wan finally let Anakin help him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am loving everyone's reaction to chapter 9!! I have always wanted Obi-Wan to play a more powerful roll in the Star Wars world. He obviously already plays a big part, but sometimes I feel like his position gets undermined.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and commenting and leaving kudos! It's so kind of you!

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

When Obi-Wan opened the door he was not surprised to find Anakin waiting in the corridor.

“I need to talk to you.” Skywalker’s tone was extremely serious.

Kenobi sensed intense anxiety radiating off his friend; without a word he stepped back and allowed Anakin to enter. Skywalker charged into the dusky room and began pacing furiously. Obi-Wan hoped he could not sense the residual energy left by the lady in the holocron. He leaned against the living area doorway and waited for his friend to talk.

Finally, Anakin collapsed onto the couch and buried his face in his hands. “I feel so confused,” he fumed.

“About what?” Obi-Wan asked quietly. Anakin’s back was to him, but Kenobi could see by Skywalker’s rigidly set shoulders that his friend was extremely tense. “Did something happen?”

Anakin hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should admit he had spoken to the Council on Kenobi’s behalf. “Yes,” he eventually said, deciding in favor of honesty. “After you nearly broke my arm during dinner I went to the Council.” He could feel Obi-Wan’s sense of betrayal from across the room. He turned around in his seat to look at his friend. “I swear I didn’t tell them what happened.” He watched Obi-Wan warily eye him from the doorway. “I asked them to lift some of your restrictions.” Skywalker’s anger toward the Council returned. “But they wouldn’t do it.”

Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest but said nothing. Anakin could tell he was upset by the way his brow pulled together.

“They’re so stubborn, and I don’t think they have your best interest at heart.”

Kenobi’s eyes narrowed. “That thought had occurred to me as well.”

“Master, I…” Anakin could not bring himself to admit his feelings out loud. How could he commit to the idea that he no longer trusted the very institution that gave his life meaning?

Obi-Wan suddenly felt exhausted. He was struggling with his own doubts and rampaging emotions; he was hardly equipped to deal with Anakin’s feelings as well. He was about to say as much when Skywalker got off the couch and came to stand in the doorway just opposite him.

“I know you’re struggling,” Anakin said gently, “and I know the last thing you need are more burdens, but…” Skywalker faltered for a moment and his voice became very quiet. “I’m in need of counsel, Master.”

Kenobi’s heart lurched. Anakin looked like a child again, worried and vulnerable. Compassion flooded Obi-Wan, but tiny grains of self-doubt crept in around his mind’s edges. “I’m hardly in a condition to counsel you. How can you want my help when you’ve seen what a mess I am?”

“You’re the only one I trust.”

 _Trust?_ Obi-Wan could hardly believe it was possible. _He’s either a fool or loyal to a fault._

“I feel so lost,” Anakin continued. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What has caused this conflict?”

Anakin hesitated for a moment as he looked at the floor, averting his eyes. “I don’t think the Council can be trusted.”

Obi-Wan immediately understood the gravity of that sentiment. Everything the Jedi did, everything he and Anakin did, centered on the Council’s instruction. If their guidance was in doubt, it could call into question everything a Jedi held dear.

“Nearly every task they give me is in conflict with my instincts,” Anakin confessed. “They told me they would force me to break my bond with you.”

Kenobi suddenly shared Skywalker’s panic; their bond was a constant source of comfort and stability. Removing it would leave a dark empty hole. “How will they force you? Only you and I have the power to break the bond.”

“I fear they will make me choose between you and the Order.”

Obi-Wan felt uneasy. Was this an indication that the prophecy was true? Would their bond break when he fell?

Anakin wrung his hands, twisting them as he spoke. “I’m not sure what I would choose.”

“You’re loyalty to me, though touching, does not require that you give up your life’s work.”

“But I’ve come to rely on our bond. What kind of Jedi will we be if our connection is no longer there?”

Kenobi had never considered this as a possibility. The bond with his friend had always been a constant, a pivot point that he relied on heavily. He realized he had never considered what kind of Jedi he would be without Anakin because he had never thought it was possible that they would be separated.

“What should I do, Master?”

Anakin sounded so desperate and confused that it broke Obi-Wan’s heart. He wished he were better equipped to help his friend. How could he comfort another when he could not even comfort himself?

Kenobi was no longer sure he believed in his own teachings, but perhaps repeating the rote wisdom would sooth Anakin. “In times like these, you must rely on your training. Do not let your emotions guide you. Stick to the Code; it is meant to show you the way. It is your compass.”

Skywalker could see the lack of conviction in his friend’s eyes. “ _You_ don’t even believe what you’re saying.”

Obi-Wan shrugged helplessly as honest exasperation spilled out. “Well, I think you know I’m having my own doubts. Despite this, you’re coming to me for guidance – rather ill advised if you ask me – and the only safe help I can offer you is the Jedi Code. Just because _I_ no longer think it holds merit doesn’t mean it won’t help _you_.” Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest. “Any advice I tender right now may not be the usual advice you’d expect from a Jedi.”

Anakin let that sentiment settle. After considering for a moment he said, “I’m not asking you as a Jedi, Obi-Wan. I’m asking for your help as a friend. If I can’t trust the Council and I can’t trust the Code then what can I do? What do _you_ think I should do?”

Obi-Wan searched his soul for the right thing to say. He did not want to lead his friend astray from the Jedi path, but he also wanted to say something that rang true in his own heart. When he finally looked at Anakin, there was no self-doubt in his eyes. “You must follow your conscience; you must do what your heart tells you is right.”

“That sounds an awful lot like letting my emotions guide me.”

“I disagree. You must take time to consider your intuition and examine your instincts. You must not act rashly. You must question your motives and intensions. You must be brutally honest with yourself before you make a decision. Do not make choices biased by fear and anger.”

It was sound advice. Obi-Wan could see the truth of his words settle into Anakin’s heart. His Padawan was a good man. How could the lavender lady’s prophecy be true? Anakin was too smart to fall to the Dark Side.

When he was young Skywalker had always resisted Obi-Wan’s wisdom, accusing his master of being boring, but in this moment of real need, Anakin sought out Kenobi’s insight, knowing Obi-Wan would give excellent advice. Skywalker felt clarity for the first time in weeks. The thought gave him a sudden pang of loneliness, missing the days when he and his master were not staring into the Sith’s dark gaping maw. He looked up and even in the shadowy light he could see the purplish bruises around Obi-Wan’s gaunt eyes. Anakin’s heart sank. His poor master suffered so much and never came to anyone for help.

Obi-Wan saw the pity enter his ex pupil’s eyes so he spoke quickly, preventing Anakin from verbalizing his concerns. “You should go back to your room,” he said placing a hand on Skywalker’s shoulder and turning him toward the door. “You should meditate on your concerns. I know it’s not your favorite thing to do but you will probably find it useful.”

Anakin resisted Obi-Wan’s attempts to make him leave. “Let me help you, Master. Please, I hate watching you suffer.”

Kenobi’s eyes softened, as did his voice. “Thank you, Anakin, but there isn’t anything you can do. It’s far too dangerous for you to get more involved than you already are.”

Anakin snorted. “Dangerous? Nearly every day of my life is dangerous. I’ve been fighting in a war for the past few years, if you haven’t noticed.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I’m not talking about that kind of danger. Your very soul would be at risk, your sense of self. I couldn’t bear to put you in that situation.”

Skywalker’s eyes betrayed his fear. “Is that the kind of danger _you’re_ in?” Obi-Wan did not respond but his shifting eyes answered Anakin’s question. “Why won’t you let me help you?” Skywalker suddenly burst out. “Why do you think you have to suffer like this all by yourself?”

“I don’t have any choice in the matter,” Obi-Wan said angrily. “Do you think I would choose this for myself? Do you think I’m not scared out of my mind? I am not dragging you into this with me. You must respect my judgment and allow me to do this my own way.”

Anakin hated it, but he knew Obi-Wan was right. He could not force his master to ask for help. Skywalker’s emotions filled him faster than he could repress them. He reached out and pulled Obi-Wan into an embrace, crushing his friend against him as he wrapped his arms around Kenobi’s shoulders.

Obi-Wan held onto Anakin, not entirely comfortable with their proximity, but sensing how much the younger man needed him. They were both consumed with doubt, helplessly watching their world disintegrating around them. Kenobi empathized with his friend’s desperation and he was suddenly struck by the gravity of their shared fear. If they both lost faith in the Jedi, what would happen?

“What’s happened to us?” Anakin whispered as though reading Obi-Wan’s mind. “Everything seems to be broken.”

“I know,” Kenobi commiserated. “The world is coming apart at the seams.” He pulled back, placing his hands on Anakin’s shoulders, holding him at arms length. “But sometimes the world has to burn in order for something new to grow. Just try not to lose sight of who you are.”

Anakin nodded. He took Obi-Wan’s hand in his and placed a square box in his palm. “You should listen to your own advice.” He turned to leave. “Thank you for your counsel. Goodnight, Master.”

“Goodnight, Anakin.” As the door closed behind his friend, Obi-Wan looked down at the box. It was not very large and it was plain white with no clues indicating what it contained. He pulled the lid off and what he saw inside made him quickly slam the lid back in place. He looked around the room instinctively, checking to make sure no one else could see the contents. Carefully, he opened the box again and stared down at the delicious food Anakin had stuffed in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? A long, dark chapter that pushes Kenobi over the edge... It will be hard on all of us. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	11. The Push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exceptional Jedi doesn't just fall to the Dark Side; it takes a perfect combination of pain, heartbreak, and doubt. Obi-Wan is hanging by a thread. Now all it takes is one final, horrible push to send him over the edge...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I have a confession. This chapter is one of the most depressing things I've ever written. While rereading and editing it I got to a point where I actually felt really miserable.
> 
> But then I remind myself that these losses Obi-Wan experiences are actually canon. I might brutalize them up a bit, and I might manipulate/rearrange the events to serve _my_ story, but when it comes down to it, Obi-Wan actually loses everyone he loves. So don't blame me for what you're about to read (ok you can totally blame me...).
> 
>  
> 
> **So here's fair warning - THIS CHAPTER IS SAD AND DARK AND DEPRESSING.**
> 
>  
> 
> But it's the push a good Jedi needs to turn bad.

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

In the days that followed, Obi-Wan and Anakin did not see much of each other. Anakin left the Temple and did not return for two days. Kenobi assumed correctly that his ex Padawan had gone off to spend time with Senator Amidala – a common occurrence when Skywalker was grappling with something confusing or difficult.

While Anakin was away, Obi-Wan hardly left his quarters. After eating the meal Skywalker had smuggled into his home, Kenobi’s mind felt wild and unbalanced. His body had been flooded with adrenaline so he went down to the practice rooms where he spent hours battling any non-organic entity he could find. At one point he discovered a crate brimming with blaster remotes and three dueling droids; with a roguish smile he released all of them at the same time and enjoyed the thrill of thrashing his way through the onslaught. He had returned to his quarters thoroughly exhausted and spent the next sixteen hours asleep, facedown on the couch in his living area.

For days Obi-Wan’s mind and body buzzed with frenetic energy that he could hardly contain. He feared the change would be obvious to Yoda so Obi-Wan did not attended his evening meditation sessions with the Grand Master. His blatant absence was excused for several days, but finally, on the evening Anakin returned to the Temple, both Jedi were summoned to the Council.

The two men stood together waiting to be admitted to the chambers. Obi-Wan noticed Anakin looked much more relaxed and a little smug. He too had avoided the Council, refusing to give report in the evenings as they had requested. “Guess we’re both in trouble, huh?” Anakin said lightly, bouncing on his toes.

Kenobi arched a brow and the two men shared a smiled. “So it would seem.”

Anakin noticed Obi-Wan’s color was better and his eyes looked brighter, but there was something particularly bristly about Kenobi’s Force signature. Skywalker was surprised to feel a general coldness in Obi-Wan’s presence. He looked more formidable and less gentle; Anakin realized that Obi-Wan’s eyes were not just clearer, they had grown sharp and piercing.

A Council aide approached and bowed respectfully. “Master Kenobi, you may enter now.”

Anakin looked surprised. “Only Obi-Wan has been called?”

“Yes, Sir,” the aide said, bowing again. “Master Kenobi is to go in alone. You will be called in separately.”

“Why summon us both if we’re not going in together?” Anakin was growing angry.

Obi-Wan placed a hand on his Padawan’s shoulder. “They want us to know we’re being separated. It’s all right, Anakin. Just remember, don’t act rashly. Try to stay calm.” He turned back to the aide. “I’m ready, thank you.”

The massive doors opened and Obi-Wan walked into the Council chambers.

  


* * *

  


After the doors closed behind him, Obi-Wan stopped short. The chamber was empty except for Yoda who sat in his chair with the souls of his feet pressed together.

“Master,” Obi-Wan bowed and moved to the center of the room. “I thought I had been called before the Council.”

“And so you were. But decided I have to meet with you alone.” Yoda did not seem happy; there was no glint in his eye or even a hint of a smile. “Patient I have been with you, Obi-Wan.”

Kenobi inadvertently snorted sarcastically. He quickly clenched his jaw to stop himself from laughing. He truly had no wish to disrespect Yoda, but he felt like the Council had been anything but patient; he felt _stubborn_ , _cold_ , and _ruthless_ would be a more accurate description of their behavior.

Yoda waited for Obi-Wan to recover his formality, then continued. “Know I do that you have broken the regimen that you were assigned. You are not sleeping when you should, you are eating what you should not, you have not attended our joined mediation.”

Obi-Wan had spent days contemplating the ghostly lady imprisoned in the holocron and all she had revealed to him. He had convinced himself that if what she said were true, nothing could change the path he was on. “I saw no point in continuing the training you assigned me.”

“That is not for you to decide, Master Kenobi,” Yoda said sternly.

“Considering it is _my_ mind and _my_ body, I will decide as I please.”

The Grand Master’s eyes grew pained as he shook his head and looked down at his hands. “Obi-Wan,” he said quietly, “you are not even trying. Darkness is growing in you and you do nothing to contain it, nothing to curb its ebb and flow.”

This accusation hurt Obi-Wan but he still could not admit his fears to Yoda, could not admit that this darkness was too powerful to contain. What would the Council do to him if they thought he was possessed by a Sith? He desperately wanted to ask for help, but he felt almost certain that the Council would use this information as another excuse to punish him.

“Know I do that your faith in the Council has been shaken,” Yoda continued, “but I ask you to trust me.”

“I will not carry on with the training, Master.”

“Understand I do. I only ask that you meditate with me one last time. I ask you to honestly show me the core of your pain and anger. Once we have faced that together, perhaps you will feel new clarity and will be free of this darkness.”

Obi-Wan looked at Yoda warily. He did not want to meditate, and he certainly did not want to explore the darkest parts of his mind. “If I agree, will you release me from my restrictions?”

Yoda took a deep breath, as though he were agreeing against his better judgment. “Release you I will.”

Kenobi ran a hand over his beard. He could endure this torment one last time as long as it meant he never had to do it again. “Very well. One final session.”

The Grand Master nodded and climbed down from his chair and sat cross-legged on the floor. He indicated that Obi-Wan should do the same.

“You want to do it now?”

“There is no point in waiting. Sit, Obi-Wan.”

Kenobi reluctantly obeyed, settling himself on the floor near Yoda, assuming his usual meditation pose. The ancient master took Obi-Wan’s wrist in his fingers, pressing his thumb to the young man’s pulse.

“Meditate with purpose you must. Seek out the darkness inside you and allow it to reveal itself.” Regret flashed through Yoda when he looked into Obi-Wan’s eyes. The younger Jedi was clearly afraid and was already struggling to control his breathing. “Begin.”

Kenobi closed his eyes and allowed Yoda to guide him into a trance. He felt the Grand Master hovering around the periphery of his consciousness as he quickly descended into his solitude.

His meditations always led him to the same place; Obi-Wan stood in his inner sanctuary and stared out at the familiar path that stretched before him. Meandering through moon cast shadows, the track led him into the mountainous wilderness that, though beautiful, concealed horrors of his own making. He followed the trail farther than ever before, wandering up and down cliffs, along rivers, and through massive scree fields until his legs ached from effort. Hour after hour passed and still he did not encounter anything or anyone.

As he rounded the next corner he came to an abrupt halt. There before him was the entrance to his inner sanctuary, the dark archway carved in the cliff’s stone façade that led into his quiet sacellum. He had ended up right where he started; hours of work had yielded no progress. Frustration rose in his heart but before he allowed it to fully bloom he remembered Yoda’s instructions; he must permit the darkness to reveal itself. He sat down in the middle of the trail, his back to the archway, and he began to quiet his mind. He would hold still and wait; he would allow the darkness to come to him.

Obi-Wan listened to the wind whipping through the forest canopy above, letting the sound lull him. He emptied his mind, banishing all fear and doubt, all courage and certainty.

 _I’m ready_ , he thought.

The response was almost instant.

He felt it before he heard it, a shrill vibration in the Force, grating and ear splitting that made his hair stand on end. Goosebumps ran up his entire body as icy tendrils of dark energy enveloped him, filling his lungs, wrapping around his legs, tightening around his throat.

This Darkness refused to be ignored. It commanded Obi-Wan, forced him to stand and turn around. As it maneuvered him forward, he realized the evil he had come here to face was not hidden in this shadowy forest, it was living inside his internal sanctuary. The Darkness compelled him onward, guiding him through the archway, out of the trees and into the muffled stone sanctum.

As he entered the vaulted grotto his heart dropped. On the other side of the chamber three figures kneeled on the floor, their hands bound behind their backs, their heads bowed in servility – Qui-Gon on the left, Satine in the middle, and Anakin on the right.

“The master, the love, and the apprentice,” the dark energy whispered in Obi-Wan’s ear. “You will save none of them.”

Obi-Wan desperately tried to find a rational thought, fighting the sinister suggestions being planted in his mind against his will. _This is not real, it’s not actually happening, this is manifested fear._

Kenobi sensed the Darkness disapproved of his resistance. He watched as Qui-Gon was dragged to his feet by an unseen force. His master looked battered and bruised, like he had not willingly been subdued.

“Please, Padawan,” Qui-Gon pleaded with a strained voice, “have mercy.”

“Silence!” the Darkness hissed.

Obi-Wan’s eyes grew wide as a realization paralyzed him with fear. The Darkness had spoken but the word had come out of his own mouth.

He watched terror overwhelm Qui-Gon; a man that never submitted to his emotions now trembled at his Padawan’s approach. Obi-Wan could not stifle the satisfaction that rippled through him at the thought.

The Darkness whispered in his ear once more. “Do it now.”

Obi-Wan suddenly understood what this evil energy was leading him to do. _Please, no._

“You have seen this moment played out time and time again,” the Darkness said. “You have watched your master die, you have been witness to his murder, complicit in his death. Now you must end the cycle. Strike down you master and take his power.”

_No, I can’t._

The Darkness instantly constricted around Kenobi, squeezing every single inch of his body. It pushed him forward until he was face to face with Qui-Gon. “I promise it will give you pleasure,” it whispered.

Inside his conscious mind Obi-Wan was screaming with resistance, but his physical body could not stop what was happening. He reached out and unclipped the lightsaber from Qui-Gon’s belt, turning the familiar weapon over in his hand. He looked into his master’s hazel eyes.

 _Qui-Gon, help me!_ Obi-Wan’s heart pleaded.

“Your master never wanted you,” the Darkness whispered seductively. “He never respected you. He merely tolerated your presence, never truly seeing your ability or your power.”

Obi-Wan could not deny that a small piece of him always feared Qui-Gon had not wholeheartedly committed to their partnership. His master had made him feel small and insignificant on many occasions, pushing him away with callused thoughtlessness.

The Darkness gently released a new feeling into Obi-Wan’s heart. _Revenge…_

“Try it,” the Darkness whispered. “You may find that you enjoy it.”

_It is not the Jedi way._

“Can you truly call yourself a Jedi anymore?” The vengeful sensation strengthened, leaving the young man little chance to resist.

 _He always hated me_ , Obi-Wan suddenly thought.

“Yes,” the Darkness encouraged.

_He never let me in, never cared for me._

“It’s true.”

_He abandoned me!_

“He did.”

“You left me for Anakin!” Obi-Wan suddenly screamed in Qui-Gon face.

The older Jedi’s eyes betrayed his terror. He had never seen such power or such anger in his Padawan.

“After all the times I risked my life for you, after all my loyalty, how could you so easily cast me aside?” Kenobi’s eyes were wild with a fury that made Qui-Gon cower.

“He’s… he’s the…”

“He’s not the chosen one! There is no chosen one, you fool!” Kenobi shouted, activating the lightsaber in his hand.

“Obi-Wan, stop!” Anakin suddenly begged. “Don’t do this!”

“Shut up, boy!” Kenobi whirled around, pointing the blade at Skywalker’s throat. “Your time will come.” Obi-Wan had never experience such flowing power in all his life. Rage filled him from head to toe, made him strong, gave him purpose and focus. He turned back to Qui-Gon. “Tell me one last time; tell me why you were reluctant to take me as an apprentice.”

Qui-Gon shook his head. “Padawan, please don’t do this to yourself.”

“Tell me!” Obi-Wan’s voiced echoed off the stone chamber, his eyes blazing with hatred.

The older Jedi Master took a deep, steadying breath before he resigned himself to his fate. “You were too quick to anger. I saw that your power, though formidable, would be dangerous. You allowed your emotions to guide you…” He suddenly stopped speaking as realization dawned on him.

“Now you finally see it,” Obi-Wan said smugly. “Identical to the boy you found on Tatooine.” He stepped forward so they were only inches apart, the green lightsaber blade glowing between them. “What made _me_ so unworthy, Master?” He placed his left hand on Qui-Gon’s shoulder. “I guess I’ll never really understand.” The two men locked eyes. “But I suppose I don’t really need to.” He pushed the blade through Qui-Gon’s chest.

Obi-Wan watched as the light left his master’s eyes and his body crumpled to the floor. All the rage and hatred that had built up in Kenobi’s heart suddenly left as the Darkness ripped it away, like lifting a shroud, to reveal Obi-Wan’s actions. The young man fell back, horrified. What had he done? He looked down at the weapon in his hand and then threw it as far away as he could, disgusted with himself. Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon’s lifeless body. He had killed his master. He had _murdered_ his master in a moment of pure rage.

“Now you see what I can force you to do,” the Darkness reappeared, wrapping around Kenobi once more. This time it smothered him, immobilizing his limbs while it strangled his voice. “Now I will make you watch.”

From across the room Anakin suddenly choked, gasping for breath as his arms desperately fought to get free of their restraints. Obi-Wan watched helplessly as his friend’s head was wrenched back, his eyes growing wide. He could feel his Padawan’s terror filling the chamber.

_No, please don’t hurt him!_

“I will take him as my servant,” the Darkness whispered to Obi-Wan. “He will forget you, abandon your teachings, and turn to the Dark Side.”

Obi-Wan tried to reach out to his friend but the Darkness tightened, refusing to let him speak much less move. Skywalker was slowly being consumed, one inch at a time, by evil; it bound the young man in unbreakable chains while it needled its way into his thoughts, corrupting the noble Jedi into something jealous and self-serving. Kenobi watched in horror as Anakin slowly began to disappear, dissolving into the Darkness. In just a few short moments, nothing was left of Anakin Skywalker. His entire existence had completely disintegrated and nothing remained but shadows.

Obi-Wan was released and he fell to his knees in front of Satine.

“Skywalker is lost to you forever.” The Darkness receded, vanishing into the chamber penumbra.

Kenobi clutched his fingers into the stone floor, desperately fighting to stave off his rising panic. First Qui-Gon, then Anakin, next Satine. He could not bear it. He looked up at the Duchess, her eyes squeezed shut against the horrors that surrounded her, her face a mask of pain and fear. He scrambled to her side and quickly removed her restraints. She fell into his arms, clinging to him as her body trembled violently.

“Are you hurt?” Obi-Wan asked stroking her cheek.

“What have you done?” she sobbed. “How could you do that to Qui-Gon?” She started to push him away as her voice became hysterical.

He fought to hold her. “Please, Satine,” he took her wrists in his iron grip. “You know me,” he begged. “You know I would never do this. It wasn’t me.”

She stopped fighting and looked into his eyes. She had never seen him look so wretched and desperate. Satine wanted to believe him. “What do you mean it wasn’t you?”

“The Darkness, can’t you feel it?” He could see by her expression that she could. “It tricked me, it manipulated my mind. I couldn’t stop what was happening.”

“How do I know it’s not manipulating you right now?” she asked, her voice quaking.

At a loss, Obi-Wan shook his head. “You’ll just have to trust me.”

She looked around the room desperately. “What about Anakin? What’s happened to him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”

Satine wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body against his, burring her face in his neck. “Take me away from here, Obi. Take me somewhere safe.”

Still kneeling on the floor, he pulled her closer, his arms around her waist. He tucked his cheek against hers. “I’ll protect you, Satine. I promise.” He held her as tightly as he could.

Obi-Wan did not sense the Darkness as it reemerged; he did not feel it creep up behind him; he did not know it carried a weapon before it was too late. The blade entered his back, driving through his right lung and out his chest. Obi-Wan gave a strangled gasp, his eyes revealing his surprise as he stared at Satine.

Time seemed to slow.

The Duchess looked confused for a moment before she glanced down. A long, strait metal blade immerged from Obi-Wan’s tunic, bridged the small distance between them, and entered her own chest, piercing her heart.

Satine’s eyes became dull as her head slowly slumped forward against Obi-Wan. He wanted to scream, wanted to reach out and help her, but his own injuries were too grave.

“You will save none of them.” The Darkness wrenched the blade free and Kenobi and his Duchess collapsed to the floor, their bodies tumbling next to each other. Obi-Wan could not breathe; his lung was crushed. He lay on his back, eyes closed, as his life began to drain away. _At least we’ll die together._

“No, you won’t.” The Darkness reached out and pulled Obi-Wan up, dragging him across the chamber. “She will die, but you will stay with me.” Evil energy wrapped around him, binding Obi-Wan to the Darkness. Blood poured from his wounds and he gagged and gasped for air. The Darkness took him firmly by the hair and wrenched his head back, forcing him to look at Satine’s body, crumpled in a heap, forgotten on the other side of the chamber.

Suddenly, a cruel, rolling laughter echoed off the vaulted ceiling. “Horror seems to snap at your heels like a blood thirsty hound, _Kenobi_.”

Obi-Wan watched in horror as Maul immerged from the shadows.

“What an awful mess this is,” the Sith said, gesturing to Qui-Gon and Satine’s bodies.” He glared at Obi-Wan, taking in the Darkness that had the Jedi fully under its control. “Looks like your fate will be far worse than anything I planned.” Maul smiled, revealing a strait row of yellow, moldering teeth. “I wish you luck with your new master.” He bowed formally.

Obi-Wan watched helplessly as Maul reached down and dragged Satine’s body into his arms. “No…” he tried to gasp, but the Darkness choked him before the words came out.

“Until we meet again, Master Jedi.” Maul tossed Satine over his shoulder then stepped through the archway and disappeared into the wilderness.

The portal closed behind him, filling in with a black smoke that tempered into a solid wall. There was no way out now. Obi-Wan was trapped in this chamber, a place that had once been a sacred space, a sanctuary, was now a cell filled with unimaginable fear.

He felt his life force dwindling as his blood continued to seep from his wounds.

“Don’t worry,” the Darkness whispered as though it could read his thoughts. “I won’t let you die.” It hauled him into an isolated corner where no light penetrated. The scar spreading over Obi-Wan’s eye suddenly throbbed with searing pain that felt like it would split his head in two. “It’s time for you to face your new master.”

Out of the darkness something black and red began to glitter, faintly at first, but growing brighter with each passing second. The brighter it got, the more blistering the pain in his scar. Obi-Wan watched with wide eyes as a form began taking shape, something hunched over and cloaked. A claw-like hand reached toward him, right for his face, as a ghastly voice, crackling and evil, whispered, “Obi-Wan…”

  


….Kenobi screamed and wrenched his eyes open. His face was covered in sweat and he fought for air, his chest still feeling tight. The wound in his back had felt so real. Everything had felt real. He ran a hand over the aching scar across his eyes, fighting the urge to sob or scream or kill something.

“Safe you are, Obi-Wan.”

Kenobi looked over and saw Yoda sitting beside him. _Kill something…_

“Calm yourself, ” the ancient Jedi soothed.

Obi-Wan backed away from the Grand Master, no longer trusting his self-control.

“We must discuss this…” Yoda pleaded, reaching out for Kenobi.

The younger man shook his head, moving to stand. _Satisfy your anger…_

“You must stay and face this,” Yoda almost shouted.

Obi-Wan could not control what was happening inside himself. His rational mind fought a losing battle against the evil whispering in his ear. He had no strength left, no ability to resist, and for Yoda’s safety he knew he had to leave.

Using the Force, Obi-Wan blew open the chamber doors and all but ran from the room. Yoda pursued him as far as the threshold but stopped when he saw Skywalker standing in the hall. Before Anakin had a chance to chase after Kenobi, Yoda spoke. “Let him go you must. Come, Skywalker. Sit with me a while. We have much to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was finished writing this I had to take a break from this story. I wrote myself a piece of Obitine fluff (my version of fluff) called [_The Secret Duke of Mandalore_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11248554). You can check it out if you need some angst with a happy ending.
> 
> Next Chapter? I guess it might be safe to say it's the moment some of you have been waiting for... Shit gets real and Obi-Wan slips.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	12. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our devilishly handsome Jedi has a devastating realization after his meditation with Yoda... and so begins the fall of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry for updating in the middle of the night. I have had the day from free-lancer hell, so I wasn't able to get to this sooner.)
> 
> After enduring last chapter's horror, you have earned your cruel moment of satisfaction.
> 
> It all begins here, folks. I can't even tell you how fun this chapter was to write.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

As Obi-Wan entered his quarters his body buzzed with unfamiliar energy, the Force dancing at his fingertips, awaiting his command. His power, though corybantic, surged around him with a potency he had not felt since before his mission to Mandalore. He furiously paced about the room, trying to wrangle his rising emotions. His eye throbbed terribly and made him feel wild, as though its constant, needling pain would be the final straw that drove him over the edge.

His mind worked in a frenzy, replaying the horrific visions that had appeared in his meditation. He had murdered his master, he had lost his apprentice to the Dark Side, and he had watched Satine die. The memories were cruel, perfectly designed to reveal his deepest fears and show him the worst side of himself

Why? Why had the Council insisted on this? Why had Yoda done this to him? He had tried to warn them, tried to passively resist. They did not understand that pursuing this training regimen would only unleash the darkness within him…

He suddenly froze as a new idea came to him. What if they did understand? What if all along that was exactly what they were trying to do?

Everything became obvious to Obi-Wan in a moment of devastating clarity.

They were trying to break him. The regimen, the discipline, was not designed to control him; it was designed to ruin him. The Council had set him up to fail.

_But why? To what end?_

He felt betrayed. He had trusted them, placed his life and his connection to the Force in their hands. Now he realized they had led him to the edge of a cliff and were ready to push him over the side.

Isn’t that what Yoda just tried to do? Hadn’t their meditation session pushed Obi-Wan to the mental brink? His final session with the Grand Master had produced some of the most sinister, self-indulgent visions Obi-Wan had ever experienced. He would never have allowed himself to open up to the Dark Side so much if Yoda had not encouraged it. Why had the Grand Master engineered this? Was he trying to force Obi-Wan to crack?

_Yoda would never do that to me_ , Kenobi countered. _There has to be a more honorable reason._

Obi-Wan searched his heart, hoping to convince himself that his theory was wrong, but no argument was strong enough to dissuade him. The Council had isolated him, starved him, forced him to relive torture and explore the darkest recesses of his mind. Perhaps their true intention was to force him to confront and defeat the Dark Side that resided in him, but they were sorely misguided if they thought such a simple approach would destroy something so powerful. Whether it was intentional or not, the Jedi Council had led him down a darker path than they realized. They had provoked him, provoked the evil that lived inside him. And now it had grown so big and so powerful that he was no longer certain where he ended and it began.

And while the Council kept him distracted and exhausted, he never had a chance to properly mourn Satine. His feelings for her constantly fluttered inside his stomach, a sickening tempest that he could never quell.

_Satine…_

The memories suddenly overwhelmed him.

He had loved her so completely.

And she had loved him, more deeply than any other being in the galaxy.

And now all of that was gone, taken from him.

Anger began to build in Obi-Wan, and for the first time in his life he did not try to stop it. He let his fury flow through him, filling him up and making him feel strong.

His fists clenched at his sides and his vision seemed to narrow, darkening around the edges.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was sick of being a pawn used for everyone’s gain but his own. He had been a faithful Jedi and the Council had taken advantage of his loyalty. Now, despite years of service and sacrifice, despite allowing the Council to use him as they pleased without a second thought for his welfare or mental state, once again they were manipulating him for their own purposes.

His fists tightened even more and he felt the Force suddenly erupt from his fingertips. It ricocheted around the room, bouncing off the walls and ceiling before eventually smashing into one of windows. The glass splintered in a bullseye pattern but the large pane did not shatter completely.

The destruction felt highly gratifying. Weeks of repressed rage surfaced and Kenobi finally succumbed to it, freeing himself completely.

In an instant, all rational thought abandoned him. He no longer thought about Satine or the Council, he did not think about Maul or Qui-Gon. Hatred filled him so entirely that he no longer had room in his heart for any emotion but anger.

The Force began erupting from him in every direction, smashing things all around the room. Obi-Wan reached out, pulling the beautiful, sacred energy into his hands. The Force trembled in his steady fingers.

Something in him changed then. He became rabid, like an animal, unable to control his own feelings. He screamed in fury and began destroying everything in sight.

  


* * *

  


Anakin was sitting in the Council chambers with Yoda when he felt a dark ripple surged through the temple. He and the Grand Master locked eyes, each wondering what could have caused the disturbance.

Icy pain suddenly bloomed behind Skywalker’s eyes and for a moment his vision was gone, replaced with a blinding white light. He clutched his head, crying out as he fell off his seat and sprawled across the floor. He felt the Force whipping around him, rushing through his body, through his brain, until the icy sensation grew unbearable.

Obi-Wan was in pain; Anakin could feel it as though it were his own. Something terrible had happened.

With a final nauseating swell the radiating pain receded and his vision returned. Anakin shook his head, trying to regain his composure. He blinked and looked up at Yoda.

The Grand Master sensed the desperation that Kenobi sent across the Force. As he locked eyes with the younger Jedi knight, he instantly knew they shared the same fear. “Go,” he said urgently.

Anakin ran from the room.

  


* * *

  


A small, concerned group had gathered in the corridor outside Obi-Wan’s quarters. Anakin pushed through them, trying to get to the control panel to open the door but he found the durasteel slab was dented and the control panel destroyed. The noise coming from within the apartment was alarming; glass shattering, metal scraping, and other sounds of rage made Anakin halt in his tracks.

He wanted to go in, wanted to help his friend, but something told him that was not the safest option.

“There must be someone in there,” a member of the crowd said. “Master Kenobi must be in danger.”

“We tried to get the door open but it wouldn’t budge,” said another.

Anakin felt certain that Obi-Wan was alone in his rooms. There was no attacker; there was only his master, losing his final grip on reality. His heart gave a lurch as he closed his eyes. He already suspected what he would find but he had to be certain. He reached out to Obi-Wan through the durasteel door, sending a nudge over their Force bond.

The din in Kenobi’s quarters instantly stopped. Anakin could sense his master on the other side of the door, could feel Obi-Wan’s revulsion, but there was no response through their bond.

Skywalker tried again, sending a stronger pulse. _Master?_

Again, there was no reply. There was nothing at all on the other end of their bond. Obi-Wan was gone.

Anakin clenched his jaw, fighting the heartbreak that suddenly threatened to undo him. Their bond was gone; it must have severed when he was in the Council chamber, when the pain had blinded him. Somehow their connection had been destroyed. Anakin could hardly contain his sense of betrayal.

A sudden chill flooded all of Skywalker’s senses. He could feel his master only feet away, standing on the other side of the dented door. He knew Obi-Wan could tell he was there, and he knew Obi-Wan had just realized their bond no longer existed. The two Jedi could sense each other’s devastation; their connection was broken forever; there was no putting it back.

Anakin could not bring himself to try and open the door. All his instincts told him that Obi-Wan was in need, but he could feel Kenobi’s Force, feel the dark strength that spilled under the door out into the corridor, and Skywalker knew that whoever was on the other side of this barrier might look like Obi-Wan, but it was now an altogether different creature.

He turned to the Jedi standing nearest him. “Go fetch Master Yoda.”

  


* * *

  


The crowd parted as Yoda approached. The change in the Force was clear to the Grand Master the moment he stepped off the lift. Something had gone terribly wrong and now Master Kenobi was in considerable danger.

Anakin’s heartbreak was obvious the moment Yoda saw his face.

“Master,” Skywalker said, bowing his head. “You must help him.”

The ancient Jedi nodded, then turned to the assembly. “Away with you. An audience Master Kenobi does not need.” As the crowd dispersed, Yoda turned to Anakin. “Do not go far. Call on you soon I will.”

With that, the Grand Master turned toward the dented, jammed durasteel panel. He reached out his claw-like hand, and, focusing his energy, crunched the door in half before pushing it aside enough for him to squeeze past.

He stood just inside the entryway and waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. As he took in the details, his heart sank lower and lower. The rooms were completely destroyed. The floor was ripped up and smashed; the furniture was broken into tiny pieces as though it had burst from the inside out; nearly all the windows were blown out or shattered in place; the wall between the living area and the sleeping quarters was crunched in half and part of the ceiling had come down. Yoda moved forward carefully, taking it all in. The destructive power was far worse than he feared. Dark energy thrummed in every corner.

Finally, he spotted Kenobi kneeling in the middle of the living area. His back was to Yoda and he was doubled over, his face buried in his hands. The Grand Master slowly moved around the room until he stood directly in front of the younger Jedi. From what he could see in the darkness, Kenobi’s knuckles were bloodied and battered, presumably from smashing the room with both his fists and the Force.

Yoda was flooded by the emotions swirling around the tormented man. He sensed confusion, self-loathing, hopelessness, and fear. He truly pitied the poor creature before him. “Obi-Wan,” he said quietly.

Kenobi’s shoulders shuddered but he did not raise his head. Yoda realized he was crying.

“Obi-Wan,” he said again, working to keep his voice steady and soothing. He touched the young man’s wrist. “It’s all right.”

Kenobi slowly pulled his hands away from his face, letting them rest in his lap. He kept his eyes shut against the tears that slipped from his lashes.

“All is not lost, young one,” Yoda said gently.

Finally, Obi-Wan lifted his face and opened his wretched eyes.

As their gaze met, Yoda gasped. Even in the dark the Grand Master could see Kenobi’s sickly yellow irises rimmed by red broken blood vessels.

“What’s happening to me?” Obi-Wan sounded desperate.

Yoda was not sure what to say. Kenobi’s burning Sith eyes indicated that he had fallen, but the ancient master sensed that something of the Jedi still remained in the man kneeling before him. The Grand Master suspected that though the Dark Side had claimed Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan had not yet completely given himself over to it.

“In great danger you are,” Yoda finally said.

Obi-Wan bowed his head formally, his voice strained with emotion. “Please,” he whispered, “help me, Master.”

As Yoda had feared all along, he sensed the request came too late. “I will do what I can. But first, you must tell me everything.”

Obi-Wan swallowed thickly before nodding. His heavy eyelids sagged over his sickly eyes. “It is worse than you imagine.”

He looked heartbroken and exhausted, like he had no other options left but to confess everything and hope for the best. Yoda wanted to reach out to him with the Force and wrap him in comfort, but he sensed that would only cause Kenobi pain.

“I fear my mind has been compromised, that a Sith lord has been accessing my thoughts, controlling me somehow.”

Yoda had not expected this. He thought perhaps Kenobi had been giving in to feelings of despair, reveling in the satisfaction it gave him after suffering so greatly while in captivity. He had not considered that Obi-Wan was being used against his will.

“Very unlikely this is, Obi-Wan. A powerful Sith it would require.”

“Yes, I know. And Maul was not strong enough to maintain such a connection. I can’t explain it, Master. I don’t know how it happened, but I fear it is so.”

“Know I do that you stole a forbidden holocron from the Jedi vault, that you have spent hours in the library researching the Sith. Reprimand you I have not because hope I did that your studies would give you focus. Have you discovered anything that might help us?”

Obi-Wan lowered his eyes, not sure how much he should reveal. “The holocron indicated that I may be under the control of a Sith parasite.”

Yoda’s eyes became wide with shock. “Nearly impossible this is to achieve. There has not been a case of Sith possession for thousands of years.”

Obi-Wan had nothing to say. He knew it sounded unlikely, but he also knew what was happening to him was unlike anything he had researched. He found no recent cases similar to his anywhere in the Jedi archives.

After several minutes of deep contemplation Yoda finally said. “If this is true, time is of the essence. Before the Council I would like you to come. Allow us to examine you and develop a course of action that can protect you, the Jedi, and the Republic. Sensitive information you have access to, Obi-Wan. If you have been compromised, you put us all at risk.”

Kenobi hated the idea of standing before the Council and letting them access his thoughts, but he had already tried keeping everything to himself and that had not worked. “I need your help,” he said quietly, “so if that means I must go before then Council, then I will. I’ll do whatever I have to, Master.”

“Help you we will, Obi-Wan,” Yoda said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Alone you are not.” He summoned Anakin, and instructed the young man to stay by Kenobi’s side at all times. “Guard him you must. I will assemble the Council and send for you when the time comes.”

The Grand Master hurried off and left the two Jedi alone in the dark shambles that had once been Obi-Wan’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Anakin learns the truth about Obi-Wan. The two are brought before the Council and Kenobi is forced to submit to the Jedi's scrutiny. Let's just say, things don't go very well.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	13. The Horrible Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Anakin are brought before the Council and all the dirty secrets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends, I'm going away for the weekend and probably will not be able to post anything for the next few days. I'm heading into the wilderness and won't have very good internet. I'll be back soon to wrap this story up. There are only 3 chapters left after this one.

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

Anakin kept as far away from Obi-Wan as he could, lurking in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Kenobi had not moved since Yoda left; still kneeling in the middle of the destroyed living quarters, he kept his eyes closed and his head bowed. Skywalker paced nervously back and forth in the small foyer, his jaw set with determination. His instincts were battling against each other; half of him wanted to run for his life, the other half wanted to kneel down next to his former master and comfort him. Instead, Anakin did neither, maintaining his distance, doing his duty but not reaching out to Obi-Wan.

“Stop fidgeting,” Kenobi suddenly said angrily.

Startled, Skywalker paused and looked at his master. Obi-Wan’s voice sounded steady and decisive, not what Anakin expected from a man whose physical appearance was so wretched.

Kenobi stood in one fluid motion and turned toward the younger man. His eyes were wide and piercing, their ochre irises glowing in the darkened room.

Anakin was not sure what he had expected to see, but nothing could have prepare him for the shock that smacked into him like a freighter. He instinctually drew back, stumbling into the wall behind him. His mouth fell open as he stared in horror at his friend. “You’ve… you’ve turned?”

“Not entirely.” Kenobi let out a long breath and his face fell, revealing the deep stress that plagued him. “I’m still me, but things are changing faster than I can stop them.” Obi-Wan set his jaw and rolled his shoulders as though trying to shake off something oppressive. His face twitched indignantly before he spoke again. “It appears our bond is gone,” he said with visible discomfort.

Skywalker’s eyes softened. “Yes, I know,” he said quietly.

“I’m so sorry, Anakin.”

When Skywalker looked at Kenobi he was surprised by how dejected his friend looked. He took a step closer. “It’s not your fault.”

Obi-Wan’s throat felt tight. “All of this is my fault,” he said, fighting his emotions. “Everything that’s happened has been my fault. If I hadn’t gone to Mandalore, none of this would have happened. I’ve lost everything – Satine, my place on the Council, and now you.”

The younger man placed a hand on Kenobi’s shoulder. “Not me.” Their eyes locked. “You will never lose me, Obi-Wan. Even if you fall, I will always care for you.”

_So naïve_ , Kenobi thought. “If only that could be true, my friend.” Obi-Wan wanted to believe Anakin, but deep down he knew better. If he turned, he would not just bring shame to the Jedi Order, he would bring shame to his Padawan. Skywalker’s loyalty would come under suspicion; he would be placed on probation and the Council would watch him like a hawk. For a man like Anakin, such scrutiny would be unbearable, and, with time, he would grow to resent and despise Obi-Wan.

As Skywalker stared into his master’s awful eyes, he saw a flicker of contention; gentleness was fighting with something fiercer, something hard and unrelenting. “Master, please,” he urged, placing his other hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, squaring them face-to-face. “Tell me what’s happening to you. I can feel your conflict.”

Kenobi looked reluctant.

“I will not judge you. I just want to help you.”

Anakin was one of the only beings Obi-Wan still trusted, so he told his friend the truth. “I have two voices in my head – my own and someone else’s, someone evil. I’ve been trying to fight it for weeks but I don’t really have the strength to resist anymore. The darkness is gaining the upper hand. I’m in a strange point of limbo right now. My mood keeps changing; one second I feel like myself, the next I’m overcome with rage. It’s unpredictable and exhausting. I want to give into the anger completely because at least I think I’ll find some relief, but if I do, I know I’ll never come back from it.”

Skywalker listened with wide, worried eyes, his hands still resting on Obi-Wan’s shoulders. He was silent for a long time, unable to find words that expressed his devastation and loss. “How could this have happened to you, Master? You’re the purest Jedi I know.”

“I know you’ve always thought that, but it just isn’t true. I have always struggled with anger and impatience…”

“No you haven’t,” Anakin nearly shouted. “That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.”

“I’ve learned to control it.”

“That means you’re an even stronger Jedi than you realize. You recognize your weaknesses and you accept them. You conquer them. You manage them.”

Obi-Wan shrugged. “You cannot call it purity.”

Anakin shook his head furiously. “Your faults are proof of your power.” He pulled Kenobi closer. “We will figure this out together, without the Council. I’ll find a way to save you, Obi-Wan. I promise.”

Kenobi opened his mouth to respond but before he had the chance a Council aide appeared in the doorway. “Excuse me, Jedi Skywalker, but the high Council is ready for you and Master Kenobi. They ask that you come at once.”

  


* * *

  


Anakin could sense Obi-Wan’s mix of nerves and irritation as they entered the Council chambers. The room was dark; the glittering Coruscant lights stretching in iridescent patterns across the night sky were visible through the panoramic windows. All Council members were present, whether in person or via hologram, and Skywalker felt Kenobi tense under their collective gaze. He reached out and took Obi-Wan’s elbow in his hand. “It’s all right, Master,” he whispered.

Kenobi glanced briefly at his empty Council seat; it felt strange standing in the middle of the room rather than sitting among his peers. He never thought he would be in this position again, forced to submit to examination. Obi-Wan experienced the same trepidation now that he felt when he was a Padawan. He took a deep breath and pushed away his anxiety.

Mace Windu commenced the proceedings, his expression hard and angry. “The Council has been informed of your recent lapse in control.” He spoke directly to Obi-Wan, his tone unfriendly. “What have you to say for yourself?”

Windu’s rudeness annoyed Kenobi, a flash of impatience making his yellow eyes glow in the dark room as rage instantly infected his thoughts. “I’m not answering stupid questions,” he said witheringly. Obi-Wan turned to Yoda. “Why bother bringing me before the Council? If you’re only planning to admonish me, I will leave.”

Yoda gave Windu a warning look while saying, “Our wish is to help you, not reprimand you. Calm you must remain, Obi-Wan. Tell the Council about your suspicions.”

Kenobi fought his ire, reminding himself that the Council was his last chance for help, despite their earlier betrayal. He rolled his shoulders back, trying to force his aggression away. “A Sith has somehow gained access to my mind. It’s been corrupting me ever since Doctor Neema released me from care.”

Plo Koon leaned forward. “Has it been controlling your actions?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. From what I can tell it’s been engineering my thoughts, leading me down a path of bitterness and anger.” Kenobi’s emotions were rising and he struggled to maintain his composure, battling to keep his voice quiet and even. “I believe the purpose of this intrusion was to alter my mindset. That way, with just the right amount of pressure from the Council, coupled with my own anxiety, the Sith could bring about my ruin without lifting a finger. I would do all the work myself.”

“This is impossible,” Master Koth said. “Wouldn’t you have noticed someone else in your thoughts?”

“I did notice,” Kenobi said contritely. “I knew something was wrong right from the beginning.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Windu asked, his tone still reproachful.

“I didn’t want to believe it was happening. I hoped I was wrong.” He locked eyes with Yoda, anger flaring in him. “I think you and the Council have known all along and have said nothing. You’ve let me spiral out of control, making me vulnerable with every restriction, every demand, every forced meditation.”

The Grand Master was silent for a long time before he finally spoke. “Know I did that you were in danger. But never did I suspect that you were being manipulated against your will.”

Obi-Wan snorted. “Of course. You only assumed I was turning to the Dark Side by choice.”

“When you were first rescued, your state of mind was far from calm and contemplative.” Windu said. “Can you really say you weren’t indulging in a Sith-like ethos?”

Anakin broke in. “Excuse me, Masters, but you seem to have forgotten everything that Master Kenobi endured while in captivity. Obi-Wan needs your compassion, not your spite.”

Kenobi was grateful for Skywalker’s defense. He tried to send a nudge through their bond but his heart dropped as he remembered their connection was no longer there.

Yoda spoke again. “Agree with Skywalker I do. Obi-Wan has shown unmatched fortitude throughout this ordeal. Owe him our loyalty we do.”

“Funny you should say that,” Kenobi snapped. “Didn’t you instruct Anakin to withhold information from me?”

The Grand Master looked impassive. “For your own good it was.”

Obi-Wan spread his arms theatrically, a sarcastic smile stretching across his face. “Do you think it helped, Master?” His expression instantly hardened. “What did you force him to keep from me? I have a right to know.”

Yoda searched Kenobi’s eyes for a moment before turning to Skywalker. “Tell him you must.”

Anakin almost looked relieved to finally admit everything to Obi-Wan. The words rushed out of him. “The night you were healed we felt a disturbance in the Force; it was powerful and dark. When I got to your room in the medical ward you were having a kind of fit – Doctor Neema called it a trauma-induced trance. I reached out to you through the Force, trying to see if you had been wounded. What I found was horrible. The source of your power looked battered and bloody. It was like nothing I’d ever seen, like your Force signature had been twisted into something unrecognizable.”

Obi-Wan’s seething eyes grew more intense, outrage building in his chest as Anakin spoke. His brow was arched and his lip inadvertently curled. “Why would you keep this from me?”

Skywalker looked nervously at Yoda before he answered. “The Council felt your Force signature would heal with time and that you would fare better if you weren’t burdened with the knowledge.”

“How idiotic,” Kenobi scowled.

“Master, you weren’t ready to hear it,” Anakin said quietly. “You needed a chance to stabilize.”

“Considering the training regimen I was assigned, I hardly had the opportunity.” Obi-Wan’s eyes suddenly grew wide as a thought crept into his head. He looked at Skywalker. “That night you said there was a disturbance in the Force?”

“Yes.”

Kenobi’s mind was racing as he put the pieces together. “That had to be when it happened,” he said turning back to Yoda. “Master, that would explain the state you found me in.”

Anakin looked back and forth between Obi-Wan and Yoda. “When what happened? What are you talking about?”

Kenobi stared into the Grand Master’s round eyes. He saw real compassion, trust, and empathy in the ancient orbs, and they told Obi-Wan what he must do. Unspoken communication passed between them, and Kenobi gave a slight nod. He would acquiesce to their demands, but only if Yoda led the inquisition.

The Grand Master addressed the entire room. “Master Kenobi suspects he is under the control of a Sith parasite.” A collective gasped echoed through the chamber.

Anakin’s mouth fell open in shock. He grabbed Obi-Wan by the arm and pulled him around. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered angrily.

“Can’t you see the danger you’d be in?” Kenobi replied.

“It’s not just thought engineering, then?” Plo Koon asked. “You actually have a bond with a Sith? A connection?”

Obi-Wan nodded and looked into Skywalker’s eyes. “The bond I have with the Sith has replaced the connection you and I shared.”

Before Anakin could speak again, Yoda continued. “If a parasite it is, the very fact that Obi-Wan stands here before us, willing to commune with the Council in spite of his affliction, proves without question his power as a Jedi. In danger of fully turning to the Dark Side he is.”

Obi-Wan suddenly felt the urge to avert his unmistakable Sith eyes; they felt like a brand, like the dark forces had marked him against his will. He assumed his eyes would not have changed if his heart had not already turned. Was his rational mind the only thing protecting him? If he lost the Jedi, if they could not help him or if they turned their backs on him, how far would he fall?

“But there is still light in his heart.” Yoda said loudly, as though reading Obi-Wan’s thoughts. “Help him we must.” The Grand Master slid down from his chair and came forward toward Kenobi. “Like I would for the Council to access your consciousness. Sift through your memories, without your interference, and find the parasite we may.”

Obi-Wan was reluctant. His consciousness had been accessed in the past, several times by Maul and once by Anakin; the process was excruciating when performed by only one person and he could hardly imagine the pain he would have to endure with multiple beings thrashing through his thoughts. But even more disturbing was the idea of giving them unrestricted access to all his memories. The Council knew he loved Satine, but they did not know how far his relationship with her had caused him to stray from the Jedi Code. They would see everything. “Can’t Anakin do it?” he asked nervously.

Skywalker looked shocked. “Master, you know I would if I could.” He felt horrible refusing Obi-Wan in such a time of need. “What Yoda intends to try is something I’ve never done. I wouldn’t know what to look for.”

Kenobi was starting to feel a bit cornered. “I don’t want the entire Council in my head,” he said to Yoda. “I’ll agree only to you, Master, and no one else.”

The Grand Master nodded. “Very well.” He came forward, standing directly in front of Kenobi. “You should kneel, Obi-Wan.”

Kenobi felt panic rising in his bones. He started to breathe heavier as he looked around the room for a way to escape. Everything about this felt like a violation. But he had to do this. _You must!_ he berated himself. _Prove that you’re not yet a Sith!_

Slowly, he sank to his knees.

Yoda patted Obi-Wan on the shoulder. “Understand your reservations I do. Worry not. Your memories of the Duchess are safe. I will not judge what I see. I will only search for the Sith.”

Obi-Wan nodded, grateful for Yoda’s forbearance.

The ancient Jedi spoke to Anakin. “Hold him you must. Painful this will be.”

Anakin felt his stomach drop. He took position behind Obi-Wan and placed his hands firmly on Kenobi’s shoulders. He could feel fear radiating off his friend so he gave Obi-Wan a quick squeeze.

Yoda bowed his head and closed his eyes, working to center himself before beginning.

The room became silent.

Obi-Wan stared at the floor, fighting to keep his breathing steady while dreadful anticipation suffocated him. _If you survived Maul, you can survive this_ , he told himself. Nothing could possibly be worse than what he had already endured. But what would Yoda find? The thought made Kenobi choke.

Then, deep inside, he felt a gentle tug in his heart. Satine’s impassioned voice suddenly whispered in his ear. _You are not alone in this universe, Obi-Wan. You must allow others to help you._

_Oh, how I need you now, my love_ , he thought. Obi-Wan realized she was right; he was not alone. He became aware of Anakin standing right behind him. He closed his eyes and centered all his focus on the feeling of his Padawan’s hands pressing into his shoulders. He felt Yoda’s consciousness reach out to him. _I’m ready_ , he replied as he unshielded his mind.

The pain was sharp and blazing hot, shearing though Obi-Wan’s entire body. He gasped as his chest contracted and he crumpled forward on himself. Anakin held him firmly in place, keeping him from tumbling over. Kenobi could feel veins bulging in his neck as he strained against the intrusion. Yoda’s presence was astoundingly powerful, far more intense than Maul’s and much more aggressive than Anakin’s. He could see the Grand Master moving through his mind, flitting quickly through the chaotic storm still raging in Obi-Wan’s consciousness. Yoda revealed memory after memory, sifting through information faster than Kenobi could process.

Anakin watched helplessly, doing his best to keep Obi-Wan steady. “It’s all right,” he whispered over and over under his breath. Kenobi’s eyes suddenly rolled back in his head as his body began trembling. He arched backwards, his eyelids fluttering erratically. Anakin kneeled and wrapped his right arm around Obi-Wan’s chest pulling Kenobi against him.

By the time Yoda reached the storm’s edge he had not yet found any sign of a parasite. He pressed forward, seeking out Kenobi’s Force sanctuary, the sacred internal space where a Jedi could retreat from the world. After several more excruciating moments, the Grand Master passed through a stone archway into a stygian chamber. Yoda paused, shocked by what he found. Kenobi’s sanctuary had become a cave full of venom and rot with pulsing red hatred at its core. In this cave’s darkest, coldest, most harrowing corner, Yoda saw a cloaked figure with its boney claws twisted around in the walls of Kenobi’s consciousness. The creature reared its horrible head and turned toward the Grand Master, eyes glowing like molten rock. It cackled ruthlessly as it reached out toward the Jedi.

Obi-Wan and Yoda both froze for the same instant as they each recognized the shrouded being. They could not see its face, but their Jedi instincts quickly deciphered the Sith’s identity.

The pause lasted a fraction of a second before Yoda used the Force to try and rip the monster free. The Sith lashed out in response while digging in and anchoring itself deeper into Kenobi.

Obi-Wan suddenly screamed in a way that sent ice through Anakin’s veins. He pitched forward in agony as Yoda and the cloaked figure fought for dominance; it felt as though they were tearing at his very soul. His head was suddenly filled with an earsplitting screech that he thought would surely kill him. “Anakin!” he cried out. “Please make them stop!” He was clutching Skywalker’s arm that was wrapped around his chest, his nails digging into the young man’s vambraces. Kenobi clawed at his own head, scratching his face, and begging for mercy.

Anakin clung to his friend, looking desperately at the Counsel for guidance. They all stood in stunned silence, no one offering Skywalker help. He scowled at their uselessness.

As the pressure in his head increased, blood began to trickle from Kenobi’s nose. Anakin knew this could not go on. “Please!” he finally shouted. “Master Yoda, please stop! Whatever you’re doing is far too painful!”

The Grand Master stumbled back, instantly releasing Obi-Wan who collapsed into Anakin’s arms, choking and gasping for air. Kenobi’s eyes were wide with terror. Skywalker cupped his hands around Kenobi’s face, holding his head up so he could take deeper breaths. Obi-Wan manically clung to his friend.

Nearly all the Council members leaned forward in their chairs, each one too nervous to interrupt or inquire what Yoda had found. It took the Grand Master several moments to regain his control, then he locked eyes with Obi-Wan.

Kenobi wanted to vomit; he inhaled and choked, swallowing back a scream. There was something growing inside him, intertwining itself into his blood vessels and muscles and bones. He had finally seen it. This Sith was attached to his very life source, feeding on him a little at a time, leaving him just enough to survive but not taking enough to kill him. Obi-Wan wanted to rip himself to pieces; he wanted this parasite Sith out of his body.

Yoda and Kenobi shared a moment of despair, each acknowledging the horrible truth.

The creature that had leeched onto Obi-Wan’s mind was Darth Sidious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan finally accepts his fate.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	14. The Only Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Council makes a disheartening request, Obi-Wan suddenly realizes the path he must take. The time has come to accept his trajectory, but can he protect Anakin at the same time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my trip and soooo excited to finish up posting this story. These last three chapters are fun (at least in my opinion). I hope you enjoy :)

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

The Council members were in an uproar after Yoda announced his findings. The Grand Master had returned to his seat as Anakin helped Obi-Wan to his feet. Kenobi wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand, inadvertently smearing it across his cheek. Anakin continued supporting him until he had the strength to stand on his own. They stood together in the center of the room while all the Councilors talked over each other.

“Sidious may know everything by now.”

“How long has Kenobi been a risk?”

“We must find a way to stop the Sith.”

“Why didn’t Obi-Wan come to us sooner?”

“The very future of the Jedi is in danger.”

“There has to be a way to remove the parasite.”

As comments flew around the room, Obi-Wan’s thoughts were already well beyond these initial concerns. He was looking at the bigger implications. Yoda, the wisest and most powerful Force wielder among the Jedi, had not been able to save Kenobi. There was no way to cast out the creature rooted in his consciousness; his only real option was to turn to the Dark Side or die. As he observed the Grand Master’s eyes, he knew the ancient Jedi had reached the same conclusion. Obi-Wan watched as Yoda leaned over and spoke quietly to Mace Windu. Finally, the Grand Master held up his hand to silence the room; Kenobi already knew what Yoda was going to say.

“True that Obi-Wan’s condition leaves us vulnerable,” the Grand Master spoke steadily. “He has information vital to the Jedi, the Senate, and the Republic in general. However, a rare opportunity we now have.”

Obi-Wan felt Anakin bristle. He suspected Skywalker also knew what was coming.

“If Master Kenobi agrees, an undercover agent he could become. Discover the true identity of Darth Sidious he could.”

Despite anticipating this conclusion, Obi-Wan still felt disappointed that Yoda would ask so much of him. After everything he had been through he had hoped the Council would help him rather than take advantage of him one last time.

“A mission like that would be deadly,” Master Mundi said warily. “Kenobi would have to be entirely convincing.”

“No way is there for him to fool the Sith,” Yoda said shaking his head.

“You’re saying he would have to turn completely before joining the Sith ranks?” Plo Koon asked.

“This is insane,” Anakin interrupted. “If Obi-Wan turns and becomes a Sith, he’ll never be able to turn back. No Sith has ever returned to the light side. It sounds like you want to send him on a suicide mission.”

The Council fell silent as Skywalker’s words rang through the chamber. He always seemed to be the last to understand. His eyes narrowed as he realized Yoda’s implications. “You believe there is no hope, there’s nothing you can do.” Anakin looked around the room but no one responded. “You’re sending him to his death.” He looked at Obi-Wan who had remained silent thus far. “Master, you can’t let them do this to you.”

All eyes turned to Kenobi.

“What say you, Obi-Wan?” Yoda prompted.

A chill ran through Kenobi’s body. The Jedi’s combined energy in one room was starting to make him feel sick. They all suddenly looked disgusting to him. “You flatter me with such an offer,” he said sarcastically. “But I think I must refuse.”

“Why?” Windu snapped.

Kenobi arched a brow, amused by the man’s anger. “Would you like to know the _real_ reason or the Jedi reason?”

“The truth, of course.”

Obi-Wan ignored Mace and looked instead at Yoda. “Because I _want_ to turn. I want revenge for Satine. I want Maul and Savage Opress dead. I want Death Watch to burn. For this very reason, I should not accept this mission.”

The room fell into an icy silence.

Many minutes passed before Yoda spoke. “The fact that you recognize this about yourself is a testament to your strengths as a Jedi.” He looked tired and disappointed. “Deliberate the Council must. Please leave us while we discuss what is to be done. Take into consideration your concerns we will, Obi-Wan.”

The Council demanded that Skywalker remain with Kenobi at all times until further notice. Then the young men were dismissed.

For the first time in his life, Obi-Wan Kenobi walked away from the Jedi Council without bowing in respect. He simply turned on his heel and strode out the chamber doors with Anakin running to keep up.

  


* * *

  


Obi-Wan and Anakin moved quickly through the Temple corridors.

“I can’t believe the Council would do this to you,” Skywalker fumed.

Kenobi was so deep in thought he hardly registered his friend’s presence. If the Council was going to sacrifice him to the Sith, he might as well do it on his own terms. “Their suggestion was fairly in keeping with their usual behavior.”

“You mean how they take advantage of you? Yeah, no kidding.” Anakin’s eyes had grown dark and angry. “You _do_ know what they’re going to decide don’t you?”

“Of course. They’ll decide in favor of the mission, just like they always do.”

“They cannot be trusted, Master.”

“Perhaps the mission _is_ the only way…”

Anakin grabbed him by the elbow and violently swung him around. “What are you talking about?”

“This is something I cannot run from.”

“I’m not saying you should run, but you _can’t_ turn to the Sith. You can’t let the Council send you down this path. It isn’t right.”

_Oh, Anakin. Always so impassioned and stubborn._ Obi-Wan loved him for it. He smiled sadly. “You know, you haven’t changed that much since you were a boy.”

Skywalker bashfully closed his mouth as his steely gaze softened. He suddenly felt like a Padawan again, standing next to a man he did not fully understand, a man who cared for him in a somewhat cool, aloof manner, a man who showed him absolute devotion and loyalty. “I just want you safe,” he said quietly. “I want to stop this before it gets out of control.”

Obi-Wan placed both his hands on Anakin’s shoulders. “My friend, it is already well out of control. But I know now what I must do, and I’ll need your help to get started.”

Skywalker perked up. “Anything,” he said eagerly. “I’ll do anything.”

Kenobi knew he had to get Anakin as far away from him as he could. He did not know what would happen when he turned himself over to the Sith, but he certainly did not want his Padawan there to witness it; he loved Anakin too much to let him be in such danger. If the Sith decided to test Obi-Wan’s loyalty, he did not want fighting his best friend to be his first trial.

“I need to go back to my quarters. There are some items I need to collect. But I need you to keep an eye on the Council and head them off if they come looking for me. Try and stall them anyway you can.”

Anakin nodded. “OK, no problem. How long do you need?”

“At least thirty to forty-five minutes. They should be in deliberations for quiet some time, but you never know. They could finish at any moment.”

“Where should I meet you?”

“Don’t worry about that. When I’m finished I’ll come find you.” He looked in his Padawan’s eyes one last time and squeezed his shoulders. “May the Force be with you, Anakin.”

Skywalker smiled. “And with you, Obi-Wan.”

  


* * *

  


Obi-Wan climbed over the debris and shattered glass without a second thought. He used brute force to blast his way into the bedroom. Part of the ceiling had come down leaving a crumbled pile of duracrete scattered across the floor. Kenobi knelt next to the bed and called the hidden holocron into his hands. He opened the vessel quickly, releasing the lavender lady once again.

She hovered before him staring into his yellow and red eyes. “You have seen the truth,” she said quietly.

“Please,” he pleaded. “There has to be a way to remove it.” His practiced control was dissolving quickly as he became more and more frantic. “There has to be a way to get this _thing_ out of my head.”

“Not without causing great harm to yourself. If you were to rip the bond free, it may kill you, especially now while the connection is so strong.”

“Then I must kill _him_ ,” Kenobi said fiercely, his eyes blazing.

“The Dark Lord can listen to your thoughts, Obi-Wan. He would never let you get close enough to try it. Your assassination attempt would have to be a surprise even to you. The Sith would make sure you failed before you even began.”

He lowered his head dejectedly. “So there really is no other choice.”

“I’m afraid not.”

Obi-Wan’s thoughts suddenly drifted to Satine. What would she want him to do? She always inspired him to stay true to himself. But if he could bring down Sidious, if he could break the Sith and bring peace, that would be a cause worth dying for. Peace was Satine’s deepest passion. If he could at least try, he would honor her memory.

“I will have to be convincing,” he said quietly.

“You will indeed.”

“I must go now, before the Council requires it. I must offer myself up so that the Sith knows I am willing and not just being forced.”

“Yes, Obi-Wan.” The smoky lady bobbed in front of him. “You are ready.”

He felt peace in his heart. It would be the hardest thing he ever did, the most morally corrupt mission he would ever take, and he would most likely not live to see the end, but at least he finally knew exactly what he would be fighting for. He would go after Sidious, no matter what the cost. If the Sith could be stopped, the war could end; whether or not he lived, it would be a noble undertaking.

Obi-Wan looked at the apparition floating before him. She had a distinct, beautiful face and he realized with a pang that she had once been an individual, a person with a life and a home. “I’ve been so selfish,” he said. “I’ve never even asked your name.”

She looked startled for a moment, as though she had not expected anyone to ever ask her that again. “I descend from an ancient family line, from the house of Castor.”

His eyes widened. “I’ve heard of the Castors. They’re a noble family on the planet Tyndari.”

“I am Alhena, daughter of Leda, the prophetess and queen.”

Obi-Wan bowed his head respectfully. “It is an honor to be in your presence, my lady.”

“Likewise, Master Kenobi.” She knelt before him. “I have one more thing to offer you, but you must promise to set me free. I beg you, destroy the kyber crystal that imprisons me so that I may finally join the Force.”

“I swear, as my last act as a Jedi, I will free you.” It was the least he could do after all the guidance she had given him.

“Very well.” She moved her hands in a series of patterns and conjured up a star map that floated between them like a hologram. “Here, on the planet Auriga, you will find a holy city that has been abandoned for centuries. The Temple of the Priestesses is located along the citadel’s western perimeter. There are rooms inside that can protect you, Obi-Wan. You can take refuge from your master in the inner sanctuary. He will not be able to reach you while you are within its walls.”

Kenobi’s eyes had grown wide as she spoke. “So there is hope, a chance for relief?”

“There is always hope, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Banish the word ‘impossible’ from your life. Open your heart to _all_ possibilities.”

“I’ll do my best,” he said quietly.

“Good luck, Master Jedi,” she said bowing. “I will always remember your kindness.”

“I’m truly indebted to you. Thank you for everything, Lady Alhena.” He closed his eyes and focused on the holocron, reaching out with the Force and plucking the kyber crystal from the box’s center. He was not quite sure how to destroy such a powerful thing, but he trusted the Force would show him the way. Obi-Wan felt its energy tingling around him, vibrating in his fingertips. The kyber’s power rolled up his arms; he could grasp it like a tangible thing. He wrapped his Force around the crystal, pulling in and out at the same time. The kyber popped, snapping like a small flare, emitting one tiny spark before its light faded. Kenobi barely acknowledged how underwhelming the reaction had been when the repercussion blasted through the room. He was thrown backwards across the rubble, his body slamming into a wall, shattering the duracrete on impact. The existing ceiling collapsed as all the remaining windows blew out.

When the dust finally settled, Alhena, the crystal, and the holocron had vanished.

  


* * *

  


Anakin sensed a strange ripple in the Force. Something was happening; an unusual power was being released. He stood still, reaching out with his feelings, searching the Temple. An image of Obi-Wan suddenly appeared in his mind, the moment where Kenobi had placed his hands on Anakin’s shoulders.

_What did he say?_ Skywalker tried to remember. Something about it had struck him as odd. _‘When I’m finished I’ll come find you.’_

Anakin’s eyes shot open.

Obi-Wan had been lying.

_Why would he lie to me?_ The young man’s heart dropped. His master hardly ever lied. He had assumed they were going to fight this battle together, but now he worried that Kenobi was trying to leave him behind.

Skywalker made up his mind and raced off in the direction of the temple hangar, letting his keen instincts guide him. He had a feeling his master was going to run, avoid the Council’s judgment, and abandon Anakin. With any luck he would get to the hangar bay before Kenobi.

  


* * *

  


Now that all the windows in Obi-Wan’s quarters were gone, wind violently whipped through the rooms sending up dust plumes. He knelt in the middle of his living area, right in the chaotic center, and stared out at the twinkling Coruscant traffic. How had his life come to this, he wondered. As a boy, traveling the galaxy with Qui-Gon, he would never have guessed things would turn out this way. He had been so idealistic, always sure that the Jedi were righteous, never questioning anything in the Code. The Clone Wars had taken a heavy toll on him, chipping away at his beliefs one mission at a time until one day the final column of faith shattered.

_Remember, Obi-Wan, I’ve loved you always. I always will._

Evoking Satine’s final words made Kenobi’s chest tighten. Her death had been the breaking point. Would he ever find closure? Would he ever accept what happened to his love? “I’m so sorry, Satine,” he whispered. He closed his eyes, reaching out to her energy, searching for her in the Force. “You will hate what I am about to do.” He sensed her aura appear before him but he kept his eyes shut. “Please, my love, remember me as I was.” He could feel her right in front of him. “Remember the man that swore an oath to you, the man who would die for you. Remember the Jedi who fought by your side.” Her hands cupped his face but still he would not open his eyes. “I love you,” he whispered. “But please don’t follow me where I’m about to go.”

Obi-Wan blocked out everything, all the noise and destruction, all his anxiety and fear, even Satine’s presence. He began reaching deep inside himself, going directly to the spot where the Sith was latched onto his consciousness. How many times had he entered his inner Force sanctuary and not seen this horrible creature? He realized now that he had willfully been ignoring it; he had sensed something was there, seen it out of the corner of his eye, but he always kept his back turned to it. Obi-Wan had hoped that if he did not acknowledge the monster, it would simply give up and disappear. He had been too afraid to face the truth.

There, in his mind’s darkest corner, he found the cloaked figure, its boney fingers beckoning him forward while its molten eyes glowed. Trembling, he knelt at its feet and bowed his head.

“Master,” he nearly choked on the word, “I’m ready.”

_Finally, my boy_ , the icy voice cackled in his head. _Your anger is palpable. You must come to me at once._

Images flashed through Kenobi’s mind; he saw Coruscant’s industrial sector, a large landing pad near a tall, buttressed tower, and a massive pair of doors leading to a dark interior chamber. He saw the exact route he would have to fly; it would not take him long to get there. And when he arrived, he knew his new master would be waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Obi-Wan must be cruel to be kind.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	15. Asunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Obi-Wan's last chance to protect Anakin, but he will have to be cruel in order to be kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure some of you will find this sad, but it's for the best.

**Coruscant – Jedi Temple**

When Obi-Wan entered the Temple hangar it was dark and quiet – not surprising considering the late hour. There was an ETA-class shuttle at the far end that looked prepped and ready to go; it was the only ship with its landing lights on and its ramp down. He skirted the main landing strip that divided the massive space in half, and ran along the edge of the dim docking bays, keeping in the shadows as much as possible. Kenobi silently slipped inside the shuttle, checking to make sure the cockpit was empty before closing the access hatch. He powered up the systems and activated the retractable hangar door. Within minutes he was on his way, flying across the dark Coruscant sky, the Jedi Temple disappearing on the horizon behind him.

The journey did not take long, his intuition guiding him directly to the industrial complex he had envisioned. Obi-Wan effortlessly set the ship down on the landing pad then he stared out the flight deck windows at the massive structure that towered above the spacecraft. This part of the planet never slept, never stopped working. The scaffolds and towers and warehouses were illuminated by orange lights that never turned off. Pollution hung heavily in the air, draping the surroundings in a dirty haze.

_What a fitting place to sully my reputation_ , Obi-Wan thought.

Had the Sith lord really been sitting here on Coruscant all this time, right under the Jedi’s noses? Or had Sidious come here specifically to meet his new apprentice?

The thought sent a shiver up Kenobi’s spine; his head twitched to the side and he ground his teeth as he tried to shake off his discomfort. He lowered the craft’s ramp and stepped out onto the landing platform. There was no sign of life anywhere; no one had come to meet him. There was only a massive set of iron doors on the far side of the landing pad leading into a huge facility that seemed to extend for miles. He remembered this building from his vision so he began walking toward the entrance. He only made it about halfway when someone screamed his name from behind. Kenobi’s heart dropped. He turned to see Anakin standing near the shuttle.

“Obi-Wan!” the young man shouted taking a few steps forward. “Master, what are you doing?”

Kenobi stared at his friend for a long time. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Skywalker paused abruptly. “Whatever is happening to you, we can work it out together. You don’t have to push me away. You don’t have to _lie_ to me.”

“You don’t understand…”

“Then help me understand.”

Obi-Wan did not want to hurt Anakin but he began to realize it might be the only way to protect him. “I know it’s going to be hard for you, but you have to accept that this battle isn’t yours to fight.” Skywalker tried to protest but Kenobi cut him off. “Our paths no longer overlap, Anakin. I finally know which way I must go; the direction is clear. But I also know that you no longer have a place by my side.”

Skywalker’s face fell and it broke Kenobi’s heart. “What are you saying?”

Kenobi ignored the lump in his throat. “I’m saying that we must part ways.”

For a moment, Anakin looked like he might cry; he was not ready to lose his master and best friend. He suddenly glanced around, taking in his surroundings for the first time. He began to put all the pieces together. Obi-Wan was not running away, he was turning himself over. Skywalker’s emotions flared to full panic. “You can’t do this,” he nearly shouted. “You can’t turn your back on everything we’ve fought for. You can’t walk away from the life you’ve built, not by sacrificing yourself to the Sith.”

“The situation is not so simple as that. I have…”

“But you’re a _Jedi_ , Obi-Wan!” Anakin was growing wild. “What would Qui-Gon say if he knew what you were about to do?”

Kenobi felt his blood turn to ice. His master would be mortified, but that did not mean Obi-Wan was making the wrong decision.

Skywalker felt like he was going to explode. “Why are you doing this? This isn't you!”

“I don't have a choice, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, trying to keep his own emotions in check. “You have to let me do this my way.”

Skywalker moved closer. “The Council thinks you've betrayed them.” His voice trembled. “They’ve already issued a warrant for your arrest. I heard it on my com link just before we landed. They think that you've turned.”

Kenobi did not dispute the accusation. _All the better for my plan_ , he thought. If the Council believed he was a traitor, he stood a better chance of convincing the Sith. Even so, he knew Sidious would be suspicious; Kenobi would have to embrace their ways completely if he wanted to survive. He would not be able to do that with Anakin by his side. He knew Skywalker’s heart was in the right place, but the young man clearly did not appreciate the danger he was in. “You shouldn't be here,” he said again. “It's far too dangerous. You should leave, Anakin.”

Skywalker was only a few feet away now. His face twisted into an angry grimace. “Dangerous?” he shouted. “Are you kidding? Do you think I’m that stupid? That I would run away because something is dangerous?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, irritated. He had to find a way to get through to his Padawan.

Anakin pointed an accusing finger at his former master. “I'm not going to let you get away with this.”

“Do you really think you have the power to stop what’s happening here?”

“I have the power to stop _you_.”

The pair suddenly fell silent. Obi-Wan gave a little smirk and shook his head again before finally speaking. “I know that’s what you’ve always thought,” he said pulling himself up to his full height. “Do you want to know the difference between your power and my power?” His eyes had grown hard and his lip curled when he spoke. “You never show restraint. I know exactly what you’re capable of.” He looked directly into the young man’s eyes, his own yellow irises blazing with anger. “I constantly have to restrain myself.” He took a step closer to Anakin. “You have never seen what I am truly capable of.”

Fear flashed across Skywalker’s face and he inadvertently took a step back. His master had never seemed so formidable.

Now was Kenobi’s chance. He knew all of his Padawan’s weaknesses; if he pushed hard enough, his friend would be too crushed to pursue him. "It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault,” he said calmly, never breaking eye contact with Anakin. “He’s jealous. He’s holding me back.”

Skywalker’s expression changed to wounded shock as Obi-Wan repeated his words to him. These were things he had said to Padme in private, years ago, before the Clone Wars began.

“In some ways, a lot of ways, I’m really ahead of him,” Kenobi continued. “He won’t let me move on. He’s overly critical, he never listens, he doesn’t understand.”

Anakin stared dumbly at his former master, unable to reply, horrified by how ungrateful he had sounded.

“You’ve never been very good at hiding your feelings, my friend,” Obi-Wan said quietly. “You've always resented me. Now is your chance to finally be free. Our bond is gone; you'll never have to think of me again if that’s what you wish. Go, Anakin, live your life the way you've always wanted.”

Skywalker felt a mixture of anger and humiliation. His brow lowered as he scowled. “How can you betray me like this?” he shouted.

“Betray _you_?” Intense anger suddenly flared in Kenobi. “You have no idea what I gave up to be your master,” he shouted. “The pressure I was under, the scrutiny. The Jedi examined and judged every move I made for years after Qui-Gon died. The life I had envisioned for myself was gone in an instant.” His fury continued to build. “I cared for you as best I could; I taught you, I defended you, I protected you. And what did I get? Nothing but resentment.” Kenobi was practically shaking with rage. “And lies.”

“What lies?” Skywalker spat angrily. “I’ve never lied to you.”

“How is Senator Amidala these days?” Kenobi sneered.

The young man’s mouth fell open and his eyes grew round as saucers.

“You want to talk about betrayal?” Obi-Wan said cruelly. “Go home to your _wife_ , Anakin.”

Skywalker felt like he had been kicked in the gut. He stared at his master in disbelief. “How…” He could not bring himself to finish the sentence.

“Do you think I’m a complete idiot?” Kenobi said. “I’ve known since the beginning.”

Anakin was crumpling in on himself. He ran a hand over his face and tried to take deep breaths. He suddenly saw how ungrateful he had been, how he had taken his master for granted, how he had betrayed his Jedi oath when he undermined his teacher and married Padme. Why had he not been able to sense that Obi-wan knew about his secret marriage? Was Anakin blind, or was his master that good at hiding what he knew? Skywalker’s mind began to swirl so fast that he lost his grip on his surroundings. He stumbled back and looked up at the man he had thought was his best friend.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Master,” he mumbled.

“It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?” Kenobi’s eyes were hard as ice. “Goodbye, Anakin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? THE LAST CHAPTER!! In part 2 anyway. Obi-Wan finally meets his new master.
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


	16. Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan meets his new Sith master and is forced to prove his loyalty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are folks! Last chapter. Enjoy!

**Coruscant – Industrial Sector**

Kenobi’s heart was in shreds.

There was no fixing what he had just broken. His friendship with Anakin, one of the most meaningful relationships in his life, was over.

He knew it was the first of many horrible things he would do.

But he had always been good at repressing his emotions, at ignoring his heart and focusing on rational thought. He had done it many times in the past and he would do it now. He took every memory, every deep feeling he had for Anakin Skywalker and locked it away where he would never acknowledge it. Both their lives depended on his impassivity, his dispassion, his ruthlessness. From this moment forward, Obi-Wan Kenobi would have to be a different man.

The massive iron doors slid shut behind Obi-Wan and he found himself standing in a dark, empty warehouse. No sooner had the doors closed than a piercing pain bloomed across the scar on his face. He clapped a hand over his eye but he quickly realized there was no way to stop the discomfort. Doing his best to ignore the miserable agony he began moving forward, the pain sharpening with every step.

The warehouse was long and narrow, the central alley flanked by deep square bays set at equal intervals. Except for a few crates scattered here and there, the place was completely abandoned. An acrid smell wafted about, a mixture of smelting and soot that burned the back of Kenobi’s throat. He made his way slowly through the building, his eyes gradually adjusting to the low light. A maze of catwalks lined the walls, singe marks were visible on the duracrete floor, and a mechanical track carrying an industrial crane bisected the ceiling. Hanging from this track was a giant five-talon claw attached to a fulcrum, and just below the pincers, a cloaked figure stood with its head bowed and its hands tucked inside the arms of its robe.

When he saw the being, Obi-Wan froze, the burning in his scar becoming torturous.

The figure reached out a boney hand and made a quick gesture.

All at once the pain stopped and Obi-Wan’s legs gave out. He fell to his knees, the Force buzzing all around him. The bond that had wrapped itself up in his consciousness suddenly flared to life and he felt a presence in his mind like nothing he had ever experienced; it was both powerful and harrowing, cruel yet deliberate.

“I have been waiting for you, Master Kenobi,” the Sith said.

Obi-Wan immediately recognized the icy, sinister voice; he had been listening to it in his head for weeks.

“What strange circumstances transpired to bring us together,” Sidious marveled with a cackle. “I’m looking forward to completing your training.”

The Sith’s dark presence flooded Kenobi’s senses; the sickening waves of power quickly overwhelmed the Jedi and he had to press his palms flat against the cold floor to steady himself. Part of his rational mind told him that acknowledging Sidious as his new master would finalize his turn to the Dark Side; a small piece of him still desperately clung to his Jedi ideals, preventing his complete fall. He knew he could not maintain this duplicity; he had to commit to his new master. Obi-Wan dug his nails into the floor willing his nerves to obey, but he could not yet bring himself to speak.

“I can feel your conflict,” Sidious said smoothly. “It is understandable, especially considering all you have suffered. But you know, deep down, that the Jedi cannot help you contain your intense emotions; your rage and hatred are far too powerful to be repressed.”

Obi-Wan kept his head down as he felt the Dark Lord approach. A traitorous part of his consciousness felt the truth in Sidious’s words, and for the first time he wondering if the Sith might actually have the answers he had been seeking his entire life.

“I will show you the path, my boy. I will show you how to harness your anger. Once you see the true power of the Dark Side you will no longer feel conflicted. You will understand it is the path you were born to tread.” Sidious stared down at the young man who had not yet looked up. He knew Kenobi was clinging to his Jedi ethos, that he would most likely hold fast to it for a while, if not from desire then most certainly from habit. The Dark Lord would enjoy breaking down Obi-Wan’s resolve.

“Why do you show such formal deference?” Sidious said stepping forward, annoyed that the Jedi had not yet acknowledged him, had not even made eye contact. “Is it out of respect or shame?” He placed a crooked finger under Kenobi’s chin and forced his head up. “Look at me, Obi-Wan.” The Sith could feel the Jedi trembling at his touch and could sense that Kenobi was afraid, but when he was given a command the young man immediately obeyed, lifting his eyes. When the Dark Lord finally saw Obi-Wan’s beautiful yellow irises the Sith could not repress his pleasure. The boy was truly his. He pressed his hand to Kenobi’s brow and closed his eyes, reaching out with the Force to inspect his apprentice’s condition. “Such pain,” he said. “Such raw emotion…”

Obi-Wan could not see Sidious’s face; the deep hood and the darkened room concealed the Dark Lord’s identity. When the Sith touched him, an electric shiver passed through his nerves. There was no denying the bond they shared; it was unwavering and terrible, refusing to be ignored. It flickered with an unmistakable intensity, and whether or not he wanted the connection, the Force made it clear that Sidious was now Obi-Wan’s master.

“You will grow used to the discomfort,” the Sith said as though reading his mind. “And with time you may earn a true place by my side.” He continued searching the young man’s emotions and effortlessly saw the torture Kenobi had endured, the horrible things Maul had done to him. “I will give you vengeance, my boy,” he proffered.

Obi-Wan was ashamed by how his heart swelled, by the gratitude he felt toward Sidious. “Thank you, Master.”

The word _master_ did not come out easily and Sidious sensed this. The Sith withdrew his hand and curled it into a claw, using the Force to twist Kenobi’s thoughts against his will, making the Jedi aware that he was bound to his master in more ways than one. The young man could feel Sidious’s displeasure; it was brutal and oppressive. The Sith had the power to share his emotions with his apprentice, but instead of feeling them as though they were his own, Obi-Wan felt his sense of self being crushed into submission while Sidious’s emotions dominated his consciousness. It was the worst kind of mental punishment.

An invisible fist suddenly closed around Kenobi’s throat, squeezing the air from his lungs. Sidious used the Force to drag the young man forward until they were only inches apart. “I _am_ your master, Obi-Wan. You must learn to accept this.” The pressure increased, causing a vein to bulge next to the Jedi’s eye. “I will be lenient for now, but if I continue to sense your reluctance, I will be most displeased.”

He released the Jedi and Kenobi collapsed to the floor gasping for air. “Forgive me, my lord,” he managed to choke out.

Sidious’s eyes narrowed. _My lord_ was respectful but it was not the same as _master_. This would be an interesting battle of wills, one that he would certainly win. “Tell me why you have come here? Why do you seek the ways of the Sith?”

Obi-Wan pulled on his collar, trying to give his bruised windpipe some relief. “Because,” he said, drawing himself up to his full height on his knees, “there are things I want, things that the Jedi would never allow.”

Sidious tucked his hands back into his sleeves. “Revenge.”

The Jedi’s eyes grew dark and bitter, his lip pulling up angrily as he nodded.

“This I can certainly grant you. I know where Maul and Savage Opress are hiding.” Obi-Wan could hear the smile in the Sith’s voice. “But first you must prove your loyalty to _me_.”

Kenobi decidedly let go of his reservations, releasing his fear. If he embraced the Sith, he would understand power in a fresh way, he would learn new things about the Force, and he would find a new path. The universe had led him to this moment; he could not turn his back on the will of the Force. He bowed his head deferentially. “I will prove myself to you, Master. Whatever you ask of me, I will do it without question.”

“Good.” Sidious sensed the young man’s sincerity. Kenobi had cast off his anxiety and was ready to commit. “Give me your oath.”

“I pledge myself to you, my lord. You have my word.”

The Sith took Obi-Wan’s wrist and pulled him to his feet. “I want to believe you, truly I do, but I wonder if you have already betrayed my trust.”

Kenobi felt a shift in the Force; a dark, angry surge swelled out from Sidious, filling the room with a sickening power. He took a step back, not sure what was happening. “Betrayed you how, my lord?”

“You have not come here alone, I see.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes grew wide with surprise and he spun around to find Anakin standing several yards away, barely concealed in the shadows. Rage flashed through Kenobi, quickly followed by desperation. He turned back to Sidious. “I swear to you, I did not bring him here,” he said fiercely. “He followed me. I would never endanger you.”

Sidious snorted. “ _I_ am not the one in danger, my apprentice.” He looked from Skywalker to Kenobi, evaluating the younger man.

“I won’t let you do this, Obi-Wan,” Anakin shouted, stepping forward. He was clearly disturbed, having just watched his ex master pledge an oath to the Sith lord.

“He cares for you,” Sidious said to Kenobi, amusement plain in his tone.

“I tried to make him understand, but he just wouldn’t listen to me.” Obi-Wan was growing furious. Anakin had once again gone barreling into a situation without giving it proper consideration. Not only had he placed his own life at risk but he also threatened Kenobi’s ability to earn his new master’s trust.

“This is a careless beginning, Obi-Wan.” Sidious was not pleased, but he was a man who never wasted an opportunity. “If what you say is true, then he must be punished.” The Sith turned slowly toward Kenobi. “Kill him.”

The scenario Obi-Wan dreaded was finally before him, the ultimate test of his loyalty. To prove he was committed to the Sith, he would have to kill his best friend. Under different circumstances Kenobi might have felt repulsed by the command, but in this moment he only felt anger. Anger that his life was constantly unfair, anger that he was being asked to fight his own pupil, anger that Anakin had been stupid and stubborn enough to place them in this predicament. Obi-Wan let his anger fill him, flooding his muscles with controlled power.

Without a word he stepped away from Sidious, letting his robe fall from his shoulders. He circled toward Skywalker as he unclipped his lightsaber from his belt.

“You don’t have to fight me, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said calmly. “We can take on the Sith together.”

“You’re such a naïve child,” Kenobi said scathingly, his eyes wide and intense, the yellow and red irises burning in the darkness. “You have only yourself to blame for what happens now.” He ignited his weapon and, twisting the blade in his classic flourish, came to rest in his standard Soresu pose – lightsaber held back at shoulder height in the stronger hand, body braced back on the dominant foot, off-hand pressed forward with two forefingers pointed at the opponent.

Anakin had seen Obi-Wan take this form many times but had never been on the receiving end, not in true combat. They had sparred often, especially when he was still a Padawan, but he always had the sense that Kenobi was holding back. Now, when his master attacked, it was fueled with a fury and speed he had never expected. Despite weeks of restrictions, Kenobi seemed stronger than ever, his movements precise and powerful. A barrage of blows rained down on Anakin as Obi-Wan effortlessly thrust forward, side stepped, and spun around Skywalker in an attack designed to push him backwards.

Though he was known as the master of Soresu, Kenobi was skilled in nearly all forms of lightsaber combat. He easily incorporated the speed and endurance of Ataru with the powerful, sweeping blows of Djem So, keeping up a constant attack that Skywalker barely had time to anticipate and block.

Sidious had never seen such speed and skill. He marveled at Kenobi’s unique ability to read his opponent’s weaknesses and adjust his attack accordingly, blending multiple combat forms into one personalized style. The young man seemed to never tire and his concentration was unmatched. _No wonder he bested Maul when he was still a Padawan_ , the Sith thought.

Anakin did everything in his power to stay on the defensive, having no wish to wound or attack his master, but the longer they fought the more precise Kenobi’s attacks became. Skywalker desperately searched his friend’s eyes for any indication that this fight was just a show of strength devised to trick the Sith, but all he saw was cold rage. Anakin gradually began to realize that he was in over his head, that Obi-Wan had no choice but to kill or be killed; Kenobi could not disobey his master. If Obi-Wan truly was bonded to Sidious, Anakin had placed them both in danger by following him here. He had hoped to save Obi-Wan, possibly fight the Sith together and free his friend, but now he understood his only hope of survival was escape. He had to find a way out of this duel before one of them ended up dead.

They had moved back across the warehouse toward the massive iron doors and Anakin decided he could make a run for it. He summersaulted sideways, rolling over Obi-Wan’s back, intending to sprint the remaining distance to the landing pad, but he miscalculated Kenobi’s footing. The older man spun at the same time and smashed Skywalker in the chest with his shoulder, forcing Anakin back on his weaker foot, leaving him less able to protect himself. Their weapons clashed together violently, Obi-Wan pressing down on the younger man’s, forcing the hot blades towards Anakin’s face. In an unexpected move, Kenobi suddenly swept his lightsaber in a massive circular parry disarming Skywalker before bringing his blade down in a diagonal blow, slicing Anakin from his right shoulder to his abdomen’s center, knocking the younger man to his knees.

Anakin cried out in pain and doubled over, clutching his arm tight against his side. The wound was not deep but it left him unable to lift his right arm. He barely had a moment to process his shock when he felt the heat of Kenobi’s blade hover near his face. Obi-Wan stood over him, holding his lightsaber out at arms length, thrust just under Anakin’s chin, pointing directly at his throat. Skywalker suddenly felt sad; this was not how things should end; this was not what his master would have wanted. He looked defiantly into Kenobi’s eyes.

“Good,” Sidious beamed from across the large chamber. “Your anger has given you focus. Now, strike Skywalker down and complete your journey to the Dark Side.”

Kenobi’s eyes flared for a moment, his arm never faltering as he held his blade to Anakin’s throat. His back was turned to Sidious as he stared down at the young man.

Panic flooded Skywalker. Obi-Wan was going to kill him. He could feel the dark power flowing from his ex master.

Tightening his grip on his lightsaber hilt, Kenobi locked eyes with Anakin. He clenched his jaw as they stared at each other. He had practically raised this boy; he cared for him and taught him, and now Anakin lay helpless at his feet.

Kenobi’s eyes bore into Skywalker, betraying his agony. Anakin waited for the deathblow, but instead, Obi-Wan nearly inaudibly whispered, “Run.”

Skywalker did not wait for a second chance; using all his might he Force pushed Kenobi away while back flipping toward the doors. He ran as fast as he could ignoring the searing pain in his wound, calling his lightsaber into his hand as he made his escape.

Obi-Wan watched him go, keeping his emotions neutral. He knew Sidious would not be fooled, but he also knew the Sith coveted his powers and would grant him leniency. Kenobi would pay for showing Skywalker mercy, but he guessed the cost would not be his life. He deactivated his lightsaber and hung it on his belt, turning back to Sidious. The Sith’s face was still covered by his hood, but Obi-Wan could feel his displeasure.

“Well played, _Jedi_ ,” the last word came out like a taunt. “You are right to assume you will be punished for your defiance, but not yet. For now, we have work to begin” The Dark Lord turned and made his way deeper into the shadows. “Come, my apprentice.”

Kenobi pulled his robe off the floor and flung it over his arm. Then, without a backward glance, he followed his new master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this, leave kudos, and send me comments!
> 
> I also want to thank everyone who connected with me on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/most_things_kenobi/?hl=en) and [Tumblr](https://mostthingskenobi.tumblr.com/) (I've met some incredibly nice, cool, brilliant people!!). Come join me in either or both places to obsess over Obi-Wan together!
> 
> And I want to give a special thank you to the folks that have sent me fanart and my dear friend/snowflake who gave me constant support during this process :-) You know who you are! Check out her wonderful Obi-Wan/Star Wars stories here: [Winter22](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter22/pseuds/Winter22)
> 
> I have part 3 planned and fully outlined. Anyone interested in a final installment?
> 
> As always, Kudos and Comments are appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love!


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